Lhama Love

Have you seen my vet?

Have you seen him around?

A wwwhhhaattt?

Does he do nails? Because I could sure use a nail trim right about now. But then again, these babies are really swift for catching my breakfast, lunch, dinner and desserts.

I miss my favorite vet.............I wish he would come around soon to see me.

My teeth miss him..........badly................

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A Brief Respite

This past weekend we escaped the farm and headed down to some friends to visit and to catch a Detroit Tigers baseball game. We had made plans to attend this game months ago and seeing that Tim was feeling up for it and recovering so well from having his head cracked open and a naughty brain tumor removed from his melon, it seemed the best thing to do. Okay, so we can make light of this whole situation and actually make up some jokes along the way as we look back at the aftermath.

Because truthfully, laughter is theee best medicine in my most honest opinion.

Since this whole chaotic mess began we have looked back and respectfully yes, remember how completely freaked out we were but we also have laughed over certain experiences Tim went through during his recovery.

Like the two days following his crainiotomy. Suddenly without warning, irritable bowel episodes. So while no nurse came to his frantic call and I am nowhere around(thank goodness this time) he attempts to climb out of his hospital bed, completely entangled in IV lines(4 but who is counting), a blood pressure cuff on his right arm, pulsoxymeter on the finger of his left hand, paralysis in his right arm and leg, struggling to get to the bathroom all while wearing a dress, I mean gown. Sooo humiliating then and extremely maddening for him. But now he tells this story with such humor and dignity all who happen to hear it giggle along adding in fits of laughter!

This is how we are handling our lives now. Trying to of course be serious, cautious, honest and heartfelt but on the same token we are laughing too. We have to joke about some of this and make light of the matter.

Heading to the ball game made our lives seem so completely normal for three hours. I hardly dwelled upon our current life situation and focused on the game, spending time with my family and friends, spending dollars and dollars on hot dogs, ice cream sandwiches, cotton candy, bottles of water, pizza and obviously snapping some pictures in there too. It was an awesome evening!

I like to observe people in public places, watching them interact with others, or by themselves and especially what they happen to be wearing. Wouldn't you agree that clothing can say so much about a person?

Comerica Park, home to the Detroit Tigers is a pretty good place for just that. What a sociology experiment! However it can be hard to decipher between people because just about everyone sports a Tigers shirt or hat of some style and people appear identical. I mean you have to. You are at a Detroit Tigers baseball game!

This guy below was no exception.

Except for the word "sucker" and "just returned from honeymoon" and "possessed by new wife" plastered across his face.

The poor guy. If only he knew what he was up against! I would never do this to Yooper. Ever. I swear. Never.

Oh there may have been one time in there. Or two.

Before the game begins many of the Tiger's lineup come out on the field to warm up a bit, doing stretches, throwing some balls to one another, pacing back and forth like zoo kept tigers like these players, Carlos Guillen and Miguel Cabrera. These two strutted back and forth contemplating the game ahead.

I believe whatever contemplating these two were doing worked for them later on in the game.

Here is Curtis Granderson, the hottie he is. Man this guy is sooo smooth and uberly cool. But he never lets anything go to his head. Down-to-earth type of guy? You got it.

But I still can't get past his Standardbred horse type of gait when he runs. He's just so long legged!

As the National Anthem was sung, and so beautifully, these two huddled together in what appears to me as a before game prayer.

Either that or they were discussing the freshly groomed turf, or their plans following the game or how extremely sweaty their jock straps were feeling. I'de like to hope none of the above.

Amen.

After all, it was very hot in the city of Motown. Sweltering. Sticky hot. Not to mention odd body odors appearing without warning. I won't go into detail but there were some wrong smells hovering around.

Okay now, enough about that.

Edwin Jackson pitched for the Tigers and pretty much shut down the Kansas City Royals.

Which totally fed our wonderful Tigers.

They were hungry. They wanted to win this three game series.

I happened upon this delightful little group of fans. I think I knew them from someplace or another.

I know the two kids begged me for food on several occasions. The guy smiling back at me has been a complete pain in the head. Yeah, his face is pretty familiar to me now.

Throughout the game and much like any other sporting function, advertising sponsors plays a huge part during those hours of viewing the game. Take for example Little Caesars pizza. Yes, that short, little Italian guy, the "Pizza! Pizza!" dude.

Halfway through the game suddenly brings a couple chics with pizza! pizza! and a guy sporting a gigantic camera. It seems they picked the row in front of us to win some free "Hot & Ready" pizzas. And all they had to do was stand up and yell and scream and interrupt our baseball viewing pleasure with their obvious excitement.

But since we sat in the row behind them we had to be a part of the craze as well.

Notice the big screen up on the Comerica Park sign in the background?

The cameraman was indeed filming section 138, row 29, just in front of us. His camera really was rolling.

Because.........

Would you looky here. Yooper Jr. and I happened to make that big screen. Wow there we are! See my son standing up, with that gal's hand just in front of his face? And me? Can you see me? Sitting next to him holding my camera up to my face to capture this moment, a refection if you will of this moment. Yeah there I am. Dork with giant black camera in front of her face zoomed in on the big screen.

Well gosh darnit, I caught the picture didn't I?

So we didn't win no stinkin' pizza. We were "hot & ready" but I guess that Caesar guy didn't like our row.

We returned our thoughts back to the game at hand. But only after I showed everyone around me the picture I did get of us on that giant big screen. I was educated later those Little Caesar giveaways don't show up on ESPN. Sigh..........

So no one really did see us after all.

The Tigers played some grand ball Saturday night. I can't recall how many total hits or homeruns(sorry baseball fans, I'm just a girl) but I do remember this homerun made by Carlos Guillen. His walking buddy, Miguel Cabrera was on third base(I think, sorry again) and Guillen came up to bat and hit a doozy of a homerun sending them both in to homeplate. And at the end they high fived each other.

See I told you their warm up together seemed quite suspicious!

I think they planned this whole ordeal out before the game.

I'll call it luck though. Positively lucky on their end.

The Tigers did win! Yay! What fun. Last year when we hit one of their games they were playing the Orioles and lost bad, like 16-6. We were quite happy to be a part of a great win. Funny to think back on a year ago. It was just as hot.

I took this picture to remember the final score(10-3, length of the game(2 hours & 58 minutes), 37,276 fans and the fact it was still almost 80 degrees at 10 o'oclock p.m.

And to also prove to you why 37,276 people justified those odd smells floating around in 80 degree temperatures.

It wasn't just those Ball Park hot dogs. Or maybe it was.....hmmmm.......

We lucked out on this Saturday night game by having the opportunity to view the fireworks display following the game. We thought it was a great showing and super end to a very fun evening. However I am still trying to figure out if those loud, gunfire sounding fireworks confuse police officers in and around downtown Detroit.

I'm still pondering the logistics of that thought.

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Keep Plugging Away

I haven't blogged in a week. Our lives have been so incredibly busy lately and I haven't been able to actually sit down and write what is happening. Because when I do think I can blog something, my mind goes absolutely blank and numb. I lock up and have no idea what to write about. Writer's block I suppose. Fatigue possibly. Or perhaps knowing one of Tim's doctors visits this blog of mine and reads what I write. Sees pictures of Tim driving a tractor a week after his brain surgery. (Oops) Then there is the realization of how many people from my town is actually reading this blog and suddenly I feel a bit gun shy about what I do write. Releasing too much information. Freeing up too much emotion and giving my insecure self away. Continually conscious of my grammar and typos, because, lawdy, I've been known to throw in one too many run-on sentences, fill paragraphs with typos and bad grammar, but thankfully no

f-bombs(you're welcome). However this blog is what I love to do. I began this journal knowing friends and family would eventually read it, maybe enjoy it, learn to like what I had to write. Lately it seems this blog has been a link to letting everyone we know what is going on with Tim, keeping them updated. I've thrown myself out into the open. And there is no hiding now. Welcome to actuality.

I know many of you have been wondering what has been happening in our lives and how all of us our doing. Thank you for emails you have sent worrying about us!

We are doing fine. Really we are.

But I wasn't fine a week ago. A week ago I was truly struggling. We were home, Tim was recovering well, life seemed to be returning to some sense of normalcy. I was getting caught up on laundry, dusting, steam cleaning carpets.................

However on the outside I appeared sane. On the inside I was going crazy. There were so many maddening thoughts going through my mind. Anger. Despair. Sadness. Fear. Anxiety. Oh the anxiety. Excrutiating anxiety. I felt frozen at times. Standing still, not sure of what to do next. Feeling like I could not even breathe. Mostly just wanting to hide in a closet, curled in a fetal position and cry my eyes out. I couldn't seem to come out of my cocoon.

In reality, Tim kept me going. Funny how that works. Seemed two weeks ago I helped him along and now here he was holding my hand, holding me in his arms and giving me strength. His positive attitude, him telling me and everyone around us he was going to fight this and beat the odds kept me moving along. Kept me from running away and spiraling down to the darkest depths I dare not go to. I follow his lead, his hope and most definitely his faith. His energy keeps me going and calms me.

I need to hold on and be strong for Tim. My kids need me around as their mom as well. Not some mother on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to lock myself in a closet with a bottle of wine crying my sorrows away. I'm not going to feel pity and ask myself why this is happening. Why has cancer taken over our lives? Why has my husband been chosen? When you think about it, why not my husband? Who better to be chosen than him? Someone who leads, not follows. A person who finds humor in all things. A man with such a positive, confident attitude, filled with so much compassion, even with the cards he's been dealth with.

We keep plugging away, taking each and every day with whatever may be thrown in our path. This is the only way we can keep going. I can only look a day or two ahead, not weeks, because I have no idea what lies ahead. Today Tim starts radiation therapy and begins his chemotherapy as well. The chemo drug is an oral pill and one he may be on for quite some time. We are unsure how it will affect him even though we have been told what side effects may occur. This is what troubles me most. Not knowing. There is no crystal ball around to guide me. Because I am a person who likes to have an inkling of how things will pan out, how I and those around me will be affected. But we don't know and that scares me. So we take this process day by day. It is all we can do.

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