How The Days Fly By.........

Sunsets around here lately have been simply one word. Stunning. Oranges in such a wide range of hues. Last night I sat out by our pond on the four wheeler mesmerized by Mother Nature's show in the sky. Hope sat with me on the quad. She actually sat still long enough to be petted and loved on. But I think she was holding point to a fish she saw in the pond.

This week went by in a blur. A blurred, difficult week. It doesn't even matter that it is Friday either. Each day can't be over fast enough.

Last Friday we were celebrating Yooper Jr.'s first career homerun. He cracked that ball right over the fence. And then he "ran" the bases. 1st, 2nd, 3rd to homeplate in such a rush, forgetting he could take his time and enjoy that homerun feeling.

He was too excited to slow down.

His teammates high-fived him one by one. A proud moment for all of us. Yooper especially. He was giddy. He was there to witness that ball shooting over the fence. His son hit his first homerun in a game!

With my sister being up last weekend for the 4th of July festivities, she entered a local running race. She told me I didn't have to come watch her race. Ha! I wasn't going to miss out on seeing her complete her 35th race. Besides, many of you wanted to know how she gets those nice legs!

Now you know. She runs!

When I arrived to the race just as all 100 plus runners were lining up to begin, her shirt gave her away and I located her to wish her good luck.

She Sharpied "Team Boyd" on the back of her Livestrong running shirt. She told me after her race was completed that her thoughts turned to Tim when she began to feel tired and wanted to slow down.

I'm so proud of her.

Me and the kids spent some quality time at the beach this weekend. I am very thankful for living on a Great Lake! It was so very hot last weekend. The water was a welcome relief. Our kids love the water too. The could be in it for hours. Oh wait. They did play in the water for hours!

Saturday night there were fireworks that we watched from the beach. All along the beach many people shared their own fireworks. And next year I am going to have to find some of those "real" fireworks. Sparklers are okay, but my kids want the big and bad fireworks!

There were so many laughs over the weekend. The kids especially. Seeing them laugh and giggle with their minds off of "reality" for awhile fed them some normalcy. A time to be kids. Memories made they could think of and smile about and share with their kids when they are all grown up.

As for the matching tank tops? This is what happens when you shop at Old Navy together. This is what happens when you have a sister. My sister and I do this sort of stuff. Not planned. She lives 3 1/2 hours away from me and brought the same tank top with her as the one I wore that night. So did our daughters. Pathetic hey?

Fireworks boomed and exploded in the sky as we watched, picking out our favorites. I love fireworks. There is something about them that makes life seem sort of magical. Promising. Hopeful. Life around me is still normal. Life is still moving even though I feel stuck at times.

As I watched these fireworks I thought back to a year ago and what was happening. Cancer hadn't struck yet. A year ago I never would have believed our lives could change as much as they have.

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Looking for No Sympathy Here Folks

Grief and the cancer caregiver.

Written by Dr. Chris Iliades from EveryDayHealth.com

I did not write this......but I could re-write it word for word.

What cancer does to the caregiver.......read on.

Becoming a cancer caregiver will change your life in many ways, and your loss could be profound. Learning how to cope with the grieving process will help.

Becoming a cancer caregiver for a loved one changes your life. Along with the caregiver stress from new worries and added responsibilities comes the emotional roller coaster of grief. Grief is a natural response that we all have when we lose something precious. For the cancer caregiver, this may include the loss of:

• A loved one's health and companionship
• The life you had together before cancer
• Financial security
• Dreams for the future

There is no right or wrong way to cope with grief. How you do so may depend on your own personality, religious beliefs, life experience, and your relationship to the cancer patient. But studies show that not dealing with these emotions and keeping them bottled up inside can make grief last longer and can damage your emotional health — and even lead to physical problems.

Recognizing the Symptoms of Cancer Caregiver Grief

Researchers have studied the stages and the emotions of grief. Although not everyone goes through these stages the same way, it helps to know what to expect. The five recognized stages of grief are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Symptoms you may experience during these stages include:

Shock. When you first find out that a loved one has cancer, you may feel numb. This is part of the denial stage and a normal way that people protect themselves from emotional trauma.

Disbelief. In some cases, denial can lead to an inability to accept the truth of the cancer patient's diagnosis. In the bargaining stage of grief, you may find yourself promising certain behaviors if only the truth can be changed.

Blame. During the anger stage you may find yourself targeting your anger at God, the doctors, yourself, or even the cancer patient.

check

Guilt. As the stage of depression sets in, you may feel guilty for being angry. You may feel that in some way you should have prevented the cancer patient's diagnosis. You may feel that you are not a good enough caregiver.

check, check

Sadness. This may be the most common symptom cancer caregivers have to deal with. It can be experienced as periods of crying or intense feelings of loneliness, emptiness, and despair.

check, check, again

Physical symptoms. Physical symptoms of grief and caregiver stress may include frequent illness, physical exhaustion, trouble sleeping, headaches, and other aches and pains.

check, check, check....triple checkmark

Renewed energy and hope. In the final stage of acceptance, many cancer caregivers find a new hope for the future, peace, renewed energy, and a sense of purpose and strength.

at times, deserves a checkmark

Is "checkmark" one word or two?

Coping With Cancer Grief

The most important thing to know about cancer caregiver grief is that it is normal. Accepting the stages and emotions of grief is the first step in healing. There is no time limit on grief. Expect the symptoms to come and go, and resist thinking that you have to cope with grief alone.

Here's how to start the healing process:

Let yourself feel. Grief should not be ignored. Unresolved grief can affect your physical and emotional health and keep you from being an effective cancer caregiver. Get your feelings out in the open where you can deal with them. Talking to friends and loved ones or writing in a journal are good ways to get in touch with your feelings.

Does blogging count?

Get emotional support. Besides sharing your feelings with friends and loved ones, think about joining a support group for cancer caregivers. If you are still having trouble coping, you may want to seek out a mental health professional for counseling.

My sister, my mom have been there to hear my vent and wail, so have friends, but I think I need to pursue the nuthouse.

Take care of your physical needs. You can't separate the mind from the body. If you feel better physically, you will be better able to cope with grief and other sources of caregiver stress. Get plenty of sleep and exercise, eat a balanced and nutritious diet, and avoid the use of drugs or alcohol to mask grief or relieve stress.

I have failed all of the above suggestions.

Anticipate difficult times. Holidays and anniversaries can be difficult times for caregivers and cancer patients. Anticipate these reactions and seek extra help and support from friends and family members.

No kidding? Really?

Move forward. Be good to yourself. Try to maintain a life away from your role as the cancer caregiver. Keep up your social contacts and leave time to do the things you enjoy.

Move forward....from what?

Be aware that there is a difference between grief and clinical depression. Grief is a normal process that you move through gradually. You will have good days and bad days. If, on the other hand, you are overwhelmed with sadness that never lets up, feel guilty all the time, are having trouble functioning normally, or have thoughts of suicide or death, you need help from a mental health professional right away.

Haven't hit the suicide button yet......have too much I want to do.

Just remember that grieving is a normal process that cancer caregivers should understand and anticipate.

Being a caregiver sucks.

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Feeling Squirrely

Please bear with me as I again revamp my blog or as my sister would say "flog". I came across a free template design website recently and loved their templates and decided to change mine. More construction underway. Sorry for any confusion.

All this construction reminds me of Michigan roads and summer construction signs, slow downs, detours, traffic jams and delays.

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Flag That Was Never Hung

I was supposed to hang this American flag yesterday. Um, yeah. This one the orange kittah is stretched out upon. Actually days ago. I forgot to buy a flag hanger, pole thingy, majiggy. It had to be hung up high to be kept away from a 11 month old Lewellin Setter's teeth. Because you know she would grab a hold of it and shred it with her razor-like canines, just like she chewed up my 2 1/2 week old awesome, had-to-have, I-love-so-much, but-didn't-really-need-another-pair, type of sandals. She chewed up one sandal. I found it in the yard. She stole it from on top of our gas grill where they were drying because I had earlier scrubbed mud off of them after Mini Me decided to wear them out to the barn. Which she has forever been reminded to never, ever , ever do again. Hope and Mini Me.

"Don't wear my sandals dear daughter and Hope, do not chew up my kick-butt sandals."

Got all that? Cool.

A hanger was never purchased. In between buying bottles of G2 for baseball games, avacadoes for guacamole, beverages, hot dogs, hamburger buns and loving having gritty and sandy toes, coconut smelling, suntan, oiled skin, a hanger was forgotten. Until yesterday. This is where it was left. Not forgotten but set aside. I know, so very unpatriotic of me. I am doomed.

And this is what happened. A favorite kitty of ours found it to be quite a comfortable, royal spot for her highness. Warm, cozy sun rays warming her furry body.

"20 year old Colby, I couldn't move your cuteness off of this flag, ever."

Instead I took pictures.

She is twenty years old folks. T-W-E-N-T-Y!!

She's earned a spot on our table and if she must lie on this flag, so be it.

So today I was in Home Depot and forgot to purchase that flag hanger, again.

Is anyone else as exhausted and whooped as I from too much sun, laughing with friends and family, loads of quacamole, 90 degree heat, mosquito bites and fireworks galore?

I have a 4th of July weekend hangover.

Tomorrow I will be better. Tomorrow I will share highlights from my weekend.

How was yours?

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