DVMsWife

Two Years

2011-07-25T17:22:00.002-04:00

Two years ago today. July 25, 2009. Hope was born and Tim was diagnosed with brain cancer. And two years later this is what real life HOPE portrays.

Livestrong. Don't ever lose hope. Peace. And rabbit ears.

22 Months

2011-06-02T21:47:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was the 22 month mark for Tim. His 22 month MRI was yesterday morning. And last night we found out our 13 year old son has several cysts on his brain. Two. Not one. Two. But they are cysts and not cancer. How? What? When? Why? Oh the proverbial questions you can go crazy over asking yourself and doctors around you. Some answers. Few theories. Only to calm you and not lose hope. And I am not. We aren't.

Tim knew his son was not well at his baseball game. He seemed off. Not himself. Being a moody teenager? Perhaps but not to his dad. He just wasn't right.

Bloodwork, drug test, vitals taken, CT scan, EKG done and an MRI later those cysts are not a big problem. But they are there. They are on my son's brain, inside his skull. My firstborn. My 6 foot, 173 pound 13 1/2 year old son. Soon to be finishing 7th grade. And on his last day of school we will be heading to a well known children's hospital to find out our next step with his diagnosis.

How does one cope with this sort of news? How do you hold on to anything now that the floor you were once feeling safer on has now been pulled out from underneath you? How do you deal with all of the irony, deja vue and surreal moments within these last 24 hours? All of a sudden you look at your son, YOUR SON and realize he has these things going on in his brain. And at the same time you look over at your husband and think "How the heck can this be happening?" This time around I do ask "Why us? Why our son? Why again?" I don't even care about wanting pity. I will have the biggest pity party ever if I want to.

My son has these cysts in his brain. Taking up space. Invading our territory. Creating grief. Fear. Hell.

However through all of this I keep telling myself IT IS NOT CANCER. They are fluid filled cysts. Probably not going to cause any harm except for a possible SEIZURE or other issues could present themselves from the pressure in his brain. Oh how that really does not comfort me all that much. I want my son to be healthy, safe and sound.

Amazingly we are all quite calm. Ironically this is because we have BEEN THROUGH this already. Tim has guided us along. He still is. Knowing what we have learned during this 22 month journey we feel we have quite the ammunition of knowledge about the brain! Funny isn't it? Crazy? Yes. I shake my head.

I feel guilty. I can't explain it. I don't get it. Nothing makes sense. And my faith in God? I don't know. I don't feel the strength. I don't feel like leaning on him. Maybe it is the 4 hours of sleep I have survived on all day. I feel empty and angry and shaking my fists at the heaven's above. Frustration. Lot's of it.

In a week we will find out our next step in this journey. Most likely in a week we will have the results of Tim's 22 month MRI available to us. And he has been doing just fine! His cholesterol levels are down! Down I say! Miraculous and done with no medication but only his strong, confident mindset. I truly love him for this. And his shoulder? His "frozen" shoulder as it has been referred to. Better. He had a MRI ( our health insurance must roll their eyes at us) which showed an injection of a steroid would surely relieve pain and relief. It is working. Things have been good. Going so well.

And then wham. Slap in the face. Punch in the gut. Not so fun times.

What a wild and crazy ride. Have I mentioned roller coasters make me feel uneasy? To hell with the roller coaster. Might as well just push me out of that plane 45,000 feet in the air.

Facing New Obstacles

2011-05-04T15:53:00.003-04:00

Picture taken July of 2009 weeks before he was diagnosed with brain cancer.

It seems while our lives are settling down and becoming more and more normal, we still seem to face new obstacles that make us want to bang our heads on the wall repeatedly. What next, we ask ourselves? Haven't we been dealt with enough and all we have been through?
However, fear not, we try to look over and around these roadblocks and look for ways to make them better; to all but disappear.

Three weeks ago out of the blue Tim decided to have his cholesterol level checked before his once a month chemotherapy regime. Not expecting anything of it only wanting to know what his numbers are. And being a man in his mid-40s and having all of his other bloodwork checked over the moon and back, why not have cholesterol checked? It was something he had never, ever had checked before.
His numbers and levels came back high. Too high in fact. Well over 300 with normal being below 150. There was nothing to compare these levels to which made us wonder when and how that number came to be so high. As Tim put it that day he studied his results, "I'm a stroke and heart attack waiting to happen." And while most days he feels fine, those numbers tell him he is not.

A call down to our nurse clinician at Duke University told us his cancer situation and chemotherapy had no role in raising those numbers. And nothing out of the blue for Glioblastoma patients.

That day our eating changed. No more chips. More green veggies. Fruit. Nuts. Lower fat milk. More grains. Funny thing is you would never suspect him of having high cholesterol. Tim eats far better than I do. He is far from being overweight. He works out. I am not a fruit person. I love veggies. I should be having my levels checked.

A week and a half later he came down with a dreadful cold. Upper respiratory, sinus infection. Which always makes me fearful of pneumonia for him since his immune system struggles to regain strength. Just when he felt he was feeling like he was over it he relapsed into a worse cold. With stronger antibiotics, he is so much better. Which makes us rest easier and sleep better.

As many of you know Tim has suffered quite a bit of right side weakness from the location of the tumor(left side of brain), surgery, radiation and chemotherapy drugs. There is still an awful lot of inflammation in his brain, even 21 months later. Which brings me to this other obstacle in our path. He has been suffering from awful shoulder pain and some days, he can barely lift his arm, much less use it. Steroids always help but they don't last and days later he is in pain again. With a visit to a bone surgeon last week, x-rays and a MRI this morning we are hoping to find out a diagnosis of his chronic shoulder pain. The doctor suspects a rotator cuff tear. How and when that happened we are unsure. Did it happen after one of his many falls last year which is about when this pain began? Or did it happen during one of his focal seizures in his arm a few months after radiation? Oh how the human body can be so amazingly confusing and yet so completely amazing!

These are a few challenges we are facing right now. I hate these punches to the gut. The constant reminder of Tim's ongoing health just as we are trying to "settle" into some normalcy.
We just keep going and not let it bring us down. Tim has been through so much. I have watched him struggle so many times and so often want to be in his shoes and let him have a break from this baloney. It seems so unfair at times and makes me so angry at life. Why must we be constantly challenged? Why is this happening? So often I wonder if these challenges presented are tests and only happen to teach us more about life. Preparing us. Making us emotionally stronger and better as a person.

It is funny how you can look at life as being so unbelievably complicated and sad but then on the same token so wonderful and blessed!

Tweaking the Blog

2011-05-03T15:12:00.003-04:00

Please bear with me as I Spring clean my blog and edit and mess it all up. HTML coding and I? Well we are not getting along too well today.

So for now.........you will have to settle your eyes on some Edgar pictures.

And yes, you are welcome.

Name That Bird Who These Eggs Belong To

2011-05-02T10:56:00.003-04:00

Can you see them? Can you see the eggs? Do you know what type of bird laid these three speckled eggs?
When I saw these I felt Spring all around me. Grass beginning to green up. Daffodils blooming. Signs of life. Signs of new beginnings. Ducks and geese squabbling and creating racket searching for their favorite nesting spots. Frogs singing and chirping their arrival. Longer days. Brighter mornings. Smells of Spring. Ahhhh. Breathe in, breathe out. Bliss.
Have you figured out what type of bird owns this nest of eggs? And there is your clue, BIRD! Let me know in the comments what your guess may be!

Someone Pinch Me Now!

2011-04-26T11:44:00.003-04:00

I am so excited to announce I am the guest judge this week over on I Heart Faces! Giddy in fact! Small town girl, lover of photographer and all animals great and small featured on such a fabulous, so very popular website?? Yes! That is me! You can go to I Heart Faces and read my interview here!

Interestingness

2011-04-25T15:57:00.003-04:00

You may have noticed a link called Interestingness on the link bar under my blog header. Did you click on it yet? Oui? Non? Thought so! You are probably wondering what that is by chance. If you click on it you will be directed to my Pinterest page! This is something fairly new that was created to have a place to share your love of all things. Showcase a collection of stuff you love! Clothing. Home Decor. Photography. Books. Travel. Food. Favorite websites or blogs. Crafts. Jewelry. People. Animals. Shoes. Perfume. Anything.

Forget the push pins. You won't need them here! Find something you love and with a mouse-click you can "pin-it" to your board. Forever saved. On one page right there for you.

I am loving Pinterest and it becomes a bit addicting and unfortunately a time waster, except a fun one. Because once you find a pin on a board you like, you pin it to your board then look at someone else's pins and begin pinning more and so on. Addicting. Very much so. I am a pin-aholic.

I have seven boards ranging from clothing, to home decor, things I love, books I have read to my favorite places I have traveled to or want to travel to. I would imagine if you were planning a trip somewhere, pinning those places of interest would be so fun. Planning a renovation project? Here you go...start pinning those ideas you have!

Pinterest is by invite only but I am sure if you want to try it out you can go here or here and see if you can create your own pin board.

Happy pinning!

Saturday Randoms

2011-04-23T16:57:00.003-04:00

It is Saturday....nearly Sunday and also Easter. My last few days have involved snow, rain, mud, water, muck, and so on. All that snow melted of course. It rained last night. Our sump continues to run and kick on every 5 minutes. We were without power for nearly 48 hours but thankfully our generator kept going giving us heat, lights, internet, television and a powered sump pump. You know, all the essential things you truly need and/or miss when the electric is out.

Yesterday was my birthday. And just like every other birthday I have had since I turned 30, boring. Because once you turn 30, things start to head downhill and no one really cares anymore. At least I don't! But Yooper tells me I am aging like a fine wine. Gonna be one helluva expensive wine I tell ya!
My kids love birthdays and spoil me all day long. Breakfast in bed, hugs, letting me know what a nice mom I am which leaves me wondering.... WHAT DO THEY WANT?

So here are few random happenings in my life right now.

Mini Me made some bunny ears for Edgar. He wears them well, actually looks like Peter Cottontail.
We found a dead calf yesterday and it remains a mystery of how it happened. All I can say is I hate being the one to drag its lifeless body away from all the cows, especially its mama. And that folks is life on the farm.
And speaking of death. I know, go ahead mouse click the red box right now! Hope killed another innocent, wild bunny rabbit the other day. I was none to happy about that. Horrified in fact. Sad. Now the kids wonder if the Easter Rabbit will make it here tomorrow.
Gas prices went up again today. Sorry to remind you.
Our renovated room is done! Done I tell you! Done! I love it. Some day I will share more pictures of how we got to this point. Long, long process.
My birthday was yesterday. Did I mention that already? In roughly two years I will be 40. And I am gonna party like a rock star when that happens. And NOT go hide in my closet, sucking my thumb and nursing a bottle of wine.
In less than a month my first horse will turn 36 years old. Such a sweet old girl!
We have a cat that is 21 years old. Yes, welcome to my geriatric world.
I was featured on this website recently. Yes, that is me.....and Ruby!Another website I love is featuring me this week and I am sooo excited!

These are some random things happening in my life right now. Nothing real exciting but just a little heads up and a hello to you all!

Happy Easter to you all!

Is it December or April?

2011-04-21T10:31:00.003-04:00

Winter Storm Warning broadcasted and forecasted for my area in Northern Lower Michigan Tuesday night through Wednesday. And those weathermen were right on of course.

The kids had a snow day but funny thing is they did not want to go play in the snow.

Probably because they could not find their snow gear I had washed and stored away just a week or so ago.

Truthfully, they are pretty sick of snow.

Hey, Mother Nature! We want some spring like weather!

8-9 inches of heavy, soaking wet snow fell. The ground was already mushy and muddy before this snow made its way here. Once this melts off we will be living on a parcel surrounded by water.

Did I mention we are now on day two of no power? Thankfully we have a generator wired up to run heat, lights, appliances and my computer. But at $4 a gallon it begins to get a bit costly. However I could not go without a generator at this point!

My growing tulips and daffodils should pull through and live to bloom their pretty colors. Wow, I need me some green, pinks, and yellows!

A week ago we were leaving our window open a crack at night to let some fresh spring air in our bedroom and to hear the frogs chorusing along. Now I wonder how those poor frogs are doing.

50 degrees is scheduled to be around for a few days and perhaps up to 70 degrees by next week. And then maybe, maybe winter will go away until December.

A Blog About Ruby

2011-04-19T08:33:00.004-04:00

Ruby has been a part of my life since March of 2006 when I found her as a four month old puppy for sale with her littermates at a horse event I was attending. I had been wanting a Corgi dog for quite some time and seeing her amongst her brothers and sisters made me want one even more.

It was absolutely a no-brainer idea to buy her. It seemed the perfect time. And when I held her and she buried her fox-like face into my neck and hair I was smitten. I bought her on the spot. Drove the nearly 4 hours home with her in my truck, her proving to be an awesome traveler. She was mine. My first real puppy to call my own.

Ruby fit in with our family perfectly. Yooper, while not real happy with my decision to buy a puppy unannounced and cleared with him, couldn't get past her cuteness without smiling. And our kids? Well, instant puppy love.

Yooper even taught her some tricks. This one above she is famous for. It is one of her many gifts and talents that showcase her splendid personality. She is just that cool of a dog.

Although neurotic in many ways, it is the Corgi breed you either love and live with or not. I chose to love and be fascinated by her on a daily basis.

She can be so many dogs in one little body. Smart for one. Fast, as fast as her short little legs will carry her. Brave. So brave in fact, chasing after and biting the heels of cattle she shows no hesitation. Funny. Gosh she is funny not to mention her cuteness abound. To me she is perfection.

I really could not ask for a nicer dog to have around. She loves her kids. From day one she has always been gentle, playful and loveable to them. Not to mention a great friend to nap with.

When Hope came along, she was ready to have a buddy to play with. They are most certainly good pals however also known as partners in crime. Thelma and Louise of dogs. My little misfits.

When I reflect back on the past five years she has been in my life I realize how lucky I am to have this dog in my life. How much joy and laughter she has brought to me and my family. Except, sadly, how quickly time with her has gone by!

So I enjoy each and every day with her and be thankful for the joy she brings to me.

And try to whisk away my cravings for another Corgi puppy to enter my life.

The Smell of Lilacs

2011-04-16T07:37:00.003-04:00

I have woken up this morning, earlier than I would have liked to our dog Hope's whining in her kennel to be let out, cats meowing and racing around my bedroom, and rain hitting the windows in a downpour. Happy Saturday morning. But it gets better. Hope's whining was due to not only wanting very badly to be out of her kennel and for obvious reasons; diarrhea. Yes, my nose is still burning. So is my lilac scented candle. Which smells heavenly and gives me another reason to light it and have its scents fill our home. For reasons mainly to mask the smell of doggy diarrhea.

But don't worry. Hope is just fine. She tends to find edible treats around our farm that sometimes agree with her digestive system and other times give her the squirts. And as I type this she out in the cow paddock currently barking at a mama cow telling it to move so she can get closer to a pile of fresh calf poo to eat. She is just fine. Weird. Neurotic. Crazy. But just fine.

So today I am going to be somewhat lazy. I love Saturday's for that very reason. My last few Saturdays have been crazy busy and after this weekend, little league baseball and softball season will begin for my kids. Practices, games, driving back and forth into town several times a day. That will be my life for several months.

Even with today's yucky weather, it will be a good day to just hang around the house. Maybe bake some cookies. Catch up on some blogging. Do a little reading. Take a nap.

How are you spending your Saturday?

I Think I Can

2011-04-12T18:43:00.002-04:00

This bumper sticker is stuck on my sister's mini-van. I love this bumper sticker in so many ways. I smile every time I see it. It goes along with "I am woman. Hear me roar!" type of sayings.

Stay positive. Keep your chin up. You can do it.

And I have to tell myself this over and over each day. I think I can. I think I can. Yes. I. Will.

Tough Choices

2011-04-11T12:03:00.003-04:00

The last few weeks have proved interesting to me. Of course the last 20 months have shown me how life is much more interesting and full of surprises, twists and turns and an all around crazy journey.

I have been having a difficult time finding balance in my life lately. Balance between being a mom, wife, and photographer. Juggling all the daily tasks to keep my life, my kids and Yooper's life rolling along smoothly and without hiccups. And I have found it is nearly impossible to steer around those bumps in the road. Especially the road blocks. I hate the road blocks.

With a house renovation coming to a close and so very close to being completed it has taken up my free time with its staining and varnishing trim, casing, doors and soon a stairway. (Note to self: Next time have builder do it. Another note to self: Let's hope there is not another next time.) I am so ready for it to be done. Then I can focus my attention on some outside stuff. Flower beds are high priority!

Recently Yooper and I traveled to North Carolina for his 20 month check up. The stresses leading up to that date are tough. Emotions are all over. Tension is so thick. Let's not even discuss lack of sleep and what that causes. All of this leading up to his appointment and then finding out his MRI scans are still stable. YAY! Phew. All is well for another two months until his next MRI. And I wouldn't feel like I was living my life around those to month MRI's. But I do. If his MRI's were every 6 months or once a year, I think I could come to terms with this brain cancer and probably relax a bit. But I can't. Not yet. It still looms overhead because I know how Glioblastoma works. It's maddening.

I had to make some tough choices last week. It seemed everything was coming to a head. Balance in my life was not there. I felt scattered and pulled in every direction. We arrived home from North Carolina late Tuesday night tired yet so wired. A calf had been born while we were away and while a friend made sure all was well, we still needed to make sure its mama was taking care of it. Wednesday, I tried to regroup and catch up on laundry, cleaning, bills, etc. My two kids I hadn't seen in four days were wanting my full attention.

On Thursday, another calf had been born and it needed to be moved to another part of our barn area. Let me just say, mama cows are not at all forgiving of humans messing with their babies. A second shower that morning due to being knocked over in a pile of muck from an angry mama cow had me sit down and take some much needed breaths for a bit. I ended up curling up in a chair and let my emotions go. It was at that point I realized I needed to slow down and tell myself it was ridiculous to keep going at this pace and expect myself to remain sane and give my family around me any ounce of my attention they needed. And while I sat there and argued with myself over how this and that needed to get done and how was I ever going to be prepared and ready to achieve ANYTHING if I could not find balance?

Yesterday I finally felt some balance and felt relaxed. I accomplished a few tasks on my chore list. I slept in. I didn't rush out of bed. The weather turned nice and warm for awhile and I did some cleaning up outside. By 5 o'clock I was on the front porch with a glass of wine and Ruby by my feet. For the first time in a long while I felt relaxed. I breathed in the warm spring air. Listened to the birds flutter and chirp around me in a nearby tree. Watched Mini Me and her dad throw a softball back and forth to each other. Those kind of things are special to me and calm me down. I feel some normalcy. And I need to find more moments like that for just me. For me, taking that little bit of time to relax outside was my best choice made in a long time.

No April Fool's

2011-04-01T13:53:00.003-04:00

No April foolin' around on this blog today. What you see is what you get to read and view. Because my April foolin' today in my own life wasn't all that funny to some. Yooper left our house this morning in a huff and puff because his loving wife decided to put green food coloring in his coffee creamer because it is APRIL FOOL'S DAY. And then his wonderful wife of 15 1/2 years switched out the inside of today's newspaper with an edition from February because she felt like it and it is the 1st day of April otherwise known to many as APRIL FOOL'S DAY! I thought it was funny. Him, not so much. Because his awesome better half told him 10 a.m. for his physical therapy appointment this morning and then at 10 minutes to nine his physical therapist called wondering where he was for his 8:30 a.m. scheduled visit. Hats off to me. I am brilliant. I blame it on my desk calendar which was still stuck in March. Big oops.

But I share today more pictures of cats and of course of Edgar. "He's gonna be famous I tell you!"And yes, that is Edgar, not a possum playing well possum. Edgar sleeping upside down. Stretched out, toes curled and yes, smiling. And probably dreaming.

Dreaming of flying like a bird or contemplating walking on the ceiling.

He is crashed out on his favorite chair pad in the whole wide world, or in his world, roughly 3000 some square feet of house. He is oblivious to me for two reasons. One, he is tired. And two, he is tired.

This is what cats do when they are in need of a nap. Sleep. And for Edgar, he should be exhausted from wrestling with Miley. Spinning his wheels across the slippery floor all morning. Bird watching. Playing "fetch the pipe cleaner" 119 times with one or two willing humans.

Absolutely zonked out.

While I was taking this picture he began twitching and I figured he was far away in cat la-la land dreaming away. But soon he woke up, stretched and took off for his food bowl.

Life as a cat. So simple.

Goodbye Sweet Cheddars

2011-03-31T10:49:00.003-04:00

"There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be welcomed by a cat." - Tay Hohoff

Rest in peace sweet Cheddars. Thank you for being a part of our lives. We will miss your "happy paws". We will never forget you!

My Desk...Where It All Happens.

2011-03-30T10:43:00.003-04:00

How many of you were looking here yesterday for some Ruby Tuesday? And were you a bit disappointed? Anyone? Raise your hand. 1, 2, 4, 6, 9, 11.......ZERO! That is what I figured.
So today you will get a peek at my desk. My workstation. My little cubby hole. Where my ever growing belly fat continues to grow because of this spot. Why my neck is sore and my back shouts out to me to sit up straighter.

I have been spending more time than I would like to lately because I am preparing for my upcoming photography class I will be teaching next month. In roughly two weeks. Did I mention that?

There has been lot's of paperwork. Notes. Organizing images for a slideshow. Trying to contain my upcoming excitement about this class and trying to calm my nerves.

So here you go. My disorganized mess. My desk.

How does your desk rate in comparison? I think one's desk speaks a lot about someone. Please don't instantly judge me! Yooper wonders daily how I stay so organized with such a cluttered area. You see, I am a multi-tasker at heart. It is how I rock and roll. And he wonders how I can whip out a receipt he was looking for in an instant. Find his farm checkbook in a flash. Ask when his next physical therapy appointment is with a snap of his fingers. At least he knows exactly where I am hiding when he is in the kitchen whipping up a chocolate cake and making a mess in the process.

As for me, I know where all of my 1, 123,119 plus or minus digital picture files are stored. How to spell "definitely" correctly. And the word "recieve", I mean "receive". Have access to each and everyone of our checking/savings accounts and be able to answer Yooper's daily question of "How much is in our account?"

Here at this desk, I can find out who went where for spring break this week. Who is having a bad day. Or a great one! Who had a great workout doing Turbo. Who is now friends with this person or that one. Who is having a birthday. Who won't say how old they are. And who wishes for warmer weather. And how they wish they had gone somewhere warm for spring break.

But of course, and let us not wonder where my latest bottle of wine is.

My desk has been in our great room next to our kitchen since December when our renovation project began. I will be so glad when it is moved back to the "new" room. My desk has become a sort of extra counter space. A place for "stuff" to pile. Accumulations of this and that. Since this picture was taken, I have cleaned my desk. Yay! Happy day. It looked nice for a few days. I was proud. Sadly, it is in disarray again.

I think today calls for some desk cleaning. Organizing.

Deep Thoughts With Edgar

2011-03-23T21:28:00.002-04:00

You know Edgar is a pretty smart cat. Edgar showed up Christmas day. Thank you sweet Santa Claus. We love him. He is pretty cool. He adds to this family with his neurotic cat ways. He has slipped into our lives quite easily, smoothly and like he knew he has lived here all along. Spooky I know. Whatever it is, he brings so much joy and laughter to our everyday lives.

What would a day without Edgar be like? Boring. That's what. Not that my life was ever boring before he purred his way in it. But definitely an added benefit. He sort of takes our mind off of that big C word, cancer.

If you look at this picture, a few things may run through your mind. First, he is sitting quite happily on Yooper Jr.'s shoulder. Second, he seems to be having some great ideas flowing through his little kitty mind. Third, Yooper Jr. seems to be wondering what Edgar is thinking. And fourth, gosh he is so darn cute! Both of them! My boys.

I've concluded he has this on his mind:

"Wow! I am up so high! I could almost jump up to the skylight."
"I so handsome. Snap away with your camera."
"I spot a housefly that must be hunted."
"I see cobwebs."
"What are cobwebs?"
"Casey is my favorite on American Idol."
"Bet you didn't know I watch American Idol."
"Yooper Jr.'s shoulder is my favorite place to be."
"He is so tall. I like being up this high. Up here I can find houseflies."
"And tell you about cobwebs."
"Hey! Did you see that?"
"Ha! Made you look."
"I was a cheetah in my other life. Or maybe it was a monkey."
"Do you think we look alike? Hmmm? Our noses maybe?"

And so some thoughts with Edgar. Always thinking. Busy. Seems to have an ongoing agenda.

We love him so.

Ruby Tuesday ~ Miley Takes a Sniff

2011-03-22T11:33:00.004-04:00

I am back. After a brief hiatus from blogging. Again. Poor neglected blog.

This is how the mood looks around here. Sad. Dejected. Bored. Down right pathetic. And rightly so. Our area is currently under a winter storm warning. 6-10 inches of snow. Happy second day of Spring folks. To add to the already muddy premises, snow is not what I am looking forward to. Because once it melts, more mud will ensue. I think I will go make some chocolate chip cookie dough. Because chocolate chip cookie dough makes the world go 'round. At least my little cubicle of a world.

Last week we had well over 50 degree sunny days! It was heaven. I drove around town with my sunroof open. Amazing how sun and warmer temperatures can boost one's mood.

Not today.

Taking pictures of Ruby is no easy task. First, she does not like my camera in her face. Second, she has a complex about her picture being taken. Third, she is not as thrilled about my love of taking pictures as I am. Fourth, the cats always want their pictures taken. Fifth, this does not make Ruby very happy. Reason being? It makes her very jealous. She does not want the cats to hog all of my attention. She assumes all attention should be paid to her. However, if it means she won't be the center of my camera's focus, she will forgive their presence. For a few minutes anyway.

"Good. Let the cat become her subject for once."

"Did you say something Ruby? Did you want to be in the picture too? We could make it a happy cat and dog togetherness type of portrait. You. Me. Ruby and Miley. Come on short legged dog. What do you say?"

"Let me fluff up your hair a bit Ruby. You wanna look pretty for the human's camera."

"When was the last time you had your ears cleaned Ruby? I think I smell a little bit of cow poo in those furry ears of yours."

"Mom. Can I get some help here? Miley can't be serious can she? If she dares to push me off this step there will be trouble!"

"Ruby, I think your long tongue missed a tiny spot on your snout. You don't want to have any food on your face for the pictures. Hmmm. Is that calf poop I smell on you? Or is that just your breath? Good heavens dog! What makes you canines eat such things?"

"You know, next time I may just roll in some manure to keep your squirrelly whiskers out of my face."

"Honestly. Can we stop this now? I mean really just say the word Mom and Miley will be tumbled down the steps in a nano second. She is really starting to irritate me."

Yes, I would say this has been a very long winter. The next few days are gonna be interesting amongst the cats and dogs.

Bye for now. Time to eat some chocolate chip cookie dough.

2011-03-15T23:21:00.001-04:00

The Remodel Part Trois

2011-03-12T11:19:00.006-05:00

Our renovation progress is moving along and I am extremely anxious for it it be completed. Let me repeat .......EXTREMELY ANXIOUS. All the painting is completed. New lighting, and outlets have been installed. Window molding has been stained and varnished, ready to be mounted around the windows. Yooper and Yooper Jr. began installing the laminate flooring in the main room and I am loving how that looks. Which makes me even more anxious! Basically this remodel is taking shape and beginning to fall into place.

Which makes me happy. Cause if mama ain't happy, no one living around her is happy.

Once the main room of this money pit remodel came to a stopping point or sort of in between stage, the steps leading to our upstairs were tackled. And let's just say tackled indeed. The picture above shows how the steps looked nearly 12 years ago when they were sort of re-done when we had the upstairs renovated. Steep. Not level. Narrow. Stupid.

And now I do not miss them. What I do miss is that cute little boy in this picture. Holding his beloved sippy cup and chewing on some sort of toy because he was teething profusely. Note the red cheeks. He is so little. Cute. Pudgy.

And not allowed to crawl up the stairs hence the baby gates blocking his path. Now that little boy is 5' 10 1/2" tall, wears a size 12 shoe, 165 pounds, has all of his adult teeth but still calls me Mama. Sometimes. Like when he wants something. And him calling me mama brings me back to when he was this little boy in the picture and I forget what I am doing. And I give in to whatever he wants.

Those stairs I have dealt with for so long and I could not vision at all how new stairs would function and appear. These stairs I carried laundry baskets after laundry baskets full of well laundry. Hauled the vacuum up them. Furniture. Mattresses. In fact Yooper and I had to literally saw in half our bedspring to bend it in order to fit it up these stairs. I carried my two kids up and down those stairs. Our two kids learned how to crawl, walk and run up and down each step. And they also learned how much it hurts to fall down them. Me too. They hurt my bum a few times too many. The stairs were fun for the kids to throw toys and balls up and down. Friends and cousins who ventured a visit to our home were always leery of these steps and literally went up them like a ladder. No lie.

The final point these stairs needed to go bye-bye happened of course when Tim developed right sided weakness following his brain tumor diagnosis and surgery. He struggled to walk without a cane in his hand and his once strong right arm had little strength following surgery and radiation not to mention weakness from the awful effects of chemotherapy. Even though hand rails leading up the stairs were there for him, the steepness of the stairs and narrowness of them became a real hazard. These stairs posed a real threat to his safety and health.

So we said enough is enough. Let's get them fixed and have them built to code. The room next to the stairs was torn apart. The ceiling was raised over a foot to its former height from a dropped ceiling. You can see this in the picture above. Note the awful teal paint and wallpaper mixture over the window. Dreadful!

The old stairs were torn out, cut up, and thrown in a giant pile outside. Notice the cut out showing where the stairs once were behind the ladder. Scary right?

But that is how houses were built back in the day, such as in our house's case, 1912 , built for purpose and not looks.

Of course the day the stairs were torn out, it caused a bit of a problem for us. Tim and my bedroom and Mini Me's bedroom lie up that ladder.

Me and the kids do not mind ladders. For Tim, he was not capable of climbing it. So he slept downstairs in our son's bedroom and the rest of us, we scaled the ladder for two nights. As for the cats? They were none to happy about the whole ladder concept. Not one bit.

The ladder did not last long much to my kids having so much fun with it. They loved telling friends they had to climb a ladder to get up to their beds to sleep. Yes, good memories made through all of this.

The stairs were built in this room which now allows for a less steeper angle, wider treads, now built to code and much more eye appealing.

Creating a new stairway in this area presented a small problem. The window. For safety sake, if ever and however someone were to fall and crash through this window, the glass would cause great bodily harm. And for building code reasons, the glass needed to be replaced with tempered glass. Check. Fixed and replaced with tempered glass. Cha-ching$.

Our new stairs also provide more storage space. We gained storage not only under them but a closet leading to that area and A PANTRY! I have a pantry ladies and gents! This was certainly the cherry on the ice cream sundae. The icing on the cake.

Where the original opening to the old stairs was is now my new pantry. More storage for this old house. If anyone owns an old house, you know what I am talking about with not having enough storage area or closet space.

So much better. So much wider! Love our new stairs.

And of course she does too. My one-legged and one-armed little mutant daughter of mine. Oh how I love her so.

The renovation is taking shape. Beginning to fall in place. We are near completion.

More pictures to be shared soon to show you updates on how things are looking!

Life Without Cats & Dogs? I Can't Imagine!

2011-03-10T20:15:00.000-05:00

I love all animals great and small. I especially love cats and dogs. So do my kids. Along with Yooper. After all he is a veterinarian. Would you expect anything different?

Our kids appreciate having animals in their lives. They have learned to care for them. To provide not only food, water, shelter but also to give them lot's of love. Animals give so much affection to us it is only natural and easy to show love in return.

Our pets are lucky. They are adored. They are cuddled. They are happy and content. I love what they do for me. They make me smile. Laugh. Ease my mood. Some days it is nice to sit down on the couch and curl up with a furry friend.

And that makes my world go round a bit more easily.

Mini Me turned 10 years old in January. No more single digits for her. She tells me she does not want to get older and any bigger. I tell that is good. "Don't wish to be older like your mom. You will be soon enough. Life passes by far too quickly." And then I make her change the channel with "Hannah Montana" to "Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe" which makes her roll her eyes at me.

Mini Me had a fun birthday party inviting her girly friends to bowl, eat pizza and cake. And in lieu of gifts she asked them to bring donations for one of our area's animal shelters. And donations were brought indeed! Cat food, dog food, kitty litter, dog treats, cleaning supplies! It made my daughter so happy and proud. She was so excited to take all of these "gifts" and give them to those animals in need.

A few weeks after her birthday we loaded up our truck with all of the donations from her birthday party and made a special trip to this humane society.

When we entered the shelter bringing in one bag after another of pet foods and boxes of other goodies, the ladies that volunteer their time to the shelter were all smiles. They were so very grateful!

What a wonderful feeling it gave all of us! To give. To give to these animals who have come to live in this shelter. They did not pick this to be their home. They did not choose to stay here. These cats and dogs who have no say in the matter of why they are in this shelter. And that is why we wanted to help.

We were greeted first by some happy dogs and a litter of adorable puppies. I love this animal shelter because the volunteers who operate it 365 days a year have such big hearts and take great pride in how the animals are cared for.

What cuteness! So hard to resist scooping up this one and taking him home!

For my kids, they especially love the cat room. Me too. The cat rooms in this shelter allow visitors to truly socialize with all of the cats. And it seems all of the cats get along just fine. Before I knew it all of the cage doors were open and each kitty cat was out and about playing with my kids.

Who doesn't love holding a furry body of a cat?

So sweet and such wondering eyes. Oh how I could bring them all home. And then Yooper would tell me to to go take a flying leap.

Kittah kisses! I think this one particularly liked Yooper Jr's curls!

"Oh little girl wearing such a bright, purple coat, please scratch a little to the left please."

"Ahh that is better."

I will say that just about every cat we visited with was so friendly. So loving. And so wanting our attention. What I have noticed each time I have been to this shelter is how social the cats are to humans. That is mostly due to the shelter volunteers spending time with these cats and being cat lovers themselves; it is hard not to pass up some good quality time with such wonderful felines.

So many cats. So many different personalities. All of them craving attention.

This little guy cracked me up. He reminds me of a panda! What a face. And those ears!

There are two nicely sized cat rooms. They each have places for the cats to explore. Shelves to climb up on to. High places to perch upon. To me it seems so awesome for a cat to hang out!

Up on her perch surveying the action below!

There is a window in each room with bird feeders just outside to keep a few cats busy watching, hunting, waiting, chitter chattering away.

This is how it looks in the room for my kids. They are in literal cat heaven! Not to mention the smiles and laughter that erupts from them as the cats play around them. Or in this picture, on them!

Napping under a blanket. Content for now and probably dreaming of a forever home with a couple kids to be loved by.

Perched on a shelf watching the birds outside wishing they could get their little paws on a bird or two.

We had such a wonderful visit that day enjoying the time spent with the dogs and cats who welcomed us. We left with big hearts. I loved hearing my kids carry on about this cat or that one remembering their names as they conversed about each one.

My kids learned more about animal shelters that day. What their purpose is in a community. Why animals live there, if only for a short time, some perhaps longer.

While we didn't take home any of the cats or dogs vacating the shelter, we did bring home some great memories. And some everlasting values of giving to those who are in need. Especially to the animals whose greatest words speak through their soulful eyes.

March 15th is Adopt the Internet Day for Petfinder.com, the biggest source to finding a pet to adopt all over the United States. You can help to spread the word about finding a forever friend through pet adoption here.

Mother Nature Sends Her Best

2011-03-09T11:36:00.003-05:00

Well eeessnnnn'''tttt that special. And yes, I live under the "Heavy Snow Possible" part. March certainly has been coming as a lion. Let's hope it goes out like a lamb.

On the Lookout

2011-03-07T09:56:00.002-05:00

"It's nine o'oclock. He should be here any minute. Time to disappear. You go first Edgar."

Miley and Edgar anticipating our contractor's arrival.

The Remodel Part Deux

2011-03-05T08:50:00.000-05:00

Our renovation has moved along and now into our fourth month, I am really feeling the itch to be done with it. Dirty floors. Drywall dust. Varnish smells. Drywaller guys showing up at various times of the day. Trucks getting stuck in our driveway. (And guess who helped pull them out?) Our contractor stopping by three, four sometimes five times a day to survey progress, chit-chat, let his wild dog run with our two wild dogs and ask for money. This does not bother me nor Yooper at all. So far two bottles of wine have shown up on my counter. Apparently the drywall guy and the contractor guy found out I like a good glass of Merlot. And apparently they figured it would help me get through parts of this renovation mess. Ahem. They were right.

It has been a fun process this renovation. And we are very happy how it is turning out. But we are anxious to have things finished and begin enjoying the newly renovated areas.

I left you with this picture the other day. What lies behind this wall? What did we do with the chimney? The heat run?

Before I show you, check out this art deco look. Behind drywall was paneling and behind the paneling was wallpaper and behind that wallpaper was more wallpaper. Absolute interior designer's worst nightmare. So horrendous to look at.

Here is a closer look. Pretty huh? I think quite a statement was made back in the day.

The best thing to do with this hodgepodge wall was to completely tear it out.

The heat run was rerouted up another wall which goes up to Mini Me's bedroom. Remains of an old chimney was knocked out. There was so much brick to haul out. Several tractor bucket loads in fact.

We opened up the hallway leading from our kitchen to this room. What a difference!

So much light from this room leads into the hallway towards the kitchen. Love this! I am so enjoying how open this is.

Since this room had very little electrical outlets and lighting, our electrician added more outlets and put in recessed lighting throughout the ceiling area. What a difference in lighting at night.

We also moved the ceiling fan to the middle of the room.

Since the old, original flooring was not only an unsightly mess, it was extremely not level. OSB was put down also known as Oriented Strand Board. Yes, I had to Google OSB because I forgot what it is abbreviated for.

The carpet has since gone bye-bye and I am not missing it. At. All.

Walls are now full of insulation and are drywalled and primed. Things are starting to take shape from these pictures.

After this room was to this point we began the next stage of fixing up this money pit. The stairs. Stairs leading to the upper level of our home. Truly a contractor's headache to figure out how to make the stairs we have become less steep, wider, bigger and to building code. And our house certainly caused many a headaches and going back and forth on how to reroute the stairs and make it all work. I am happy to say, I love our new stairway!

More pictures coming soon!

Our Farm is Complete With Chickens

2011-03-04T09:56:00.003-05:00

We have chickens. Balk! Balk! Have I ever mentioned this before? Seven egg laying chickens. Pullets they are called. Chickens that do nothing but lay eggs. Without the help of a rooster. Which suits me just fine. Roosters are obnoxious. Loud. A little arrogant. Cocky. I don't deal with a cocky attitude very well.

We have seven chickens currently. We started with eight last spring. However last summer a few escaped their chicken house and Hope the dope our dog decided to make a dog toy out of one of them. I remember that being a sad and frustrating day. But Hope is a bird dog. Just went after the wrong type of bird.

We purchased these as chicks at our local Tractor Supply Company. And each of them were named. Peeps. Raison. Honey. Big Mama. McNuggett. Alfredo. (And for the life of me cannot remember what the seventh one is called. And my kids are nowhere to be found. That's right they are in school!)

These feathery fowls are loved. Petted. Played with. Cared for ridiculously. My kids love animals. Thank goodness because their dad is a veterinarian. And we wouldn't have it any other way!

As you can see my daughter loves these balk balks. I think she is holding Peeps. But I could be wrong. Maybe this is Big Mama? She and my son know each one and each of their personalities. Some are friendly and loved or seem to love being held and cuddled. A few are a bit shy and wishy washy about humans. Don't ask me why. Just my observation.

Chickens are incredibly fun to watch. The sounds they make to one another. Their conversations amongst themselves. Reminds me of the movie Chicken Run minus Mel Gibson the rooster. Except I cannot understand their chicken language. I am amazed how social they really are. They seem fairly content and as long as they are laying eggs I am content as well.

My daughter the chicken whisperer. "Hey Peeps(or Big Mama) keep laying eggs. I love to eat them scrambled for breakfast each morning."

They are yummy fresh eggs. Each day we are blessed with a handful of shelled yolks. Last summer we were finding five or six eggs every day. Yes, one slacker chicken in that bunch however.

With five to six eggs sometimes seven a day really adds up in no time. You do the math in how many eggs we accumulate in one week!

This summer my daughter would like to sell eggs. Maybe our local Farmer's Market. Or perhaps simply keep giving them away to our friends! Either way we enjoy the flock we have and their creation of eggs.

A freezer full of beef. A refrigerator full of eggs. Life is good.

The Remodel Part 1

2011-03-02T21:58:00.006-05:00

Remodeling has to be just about the least favorite thing of mine to enter my life within the past three months.....nearly four months. But who is counting? Me and our contractor. He would love nothing more than to be done with this job so he can one; get paid, two; move on to another project that is perhaps less complicated as our house is, and three; not having to see me in my pajamas every morning. I know. Not a pretty sight to see. Course I do not like to be found in my pajamas in the morning, without make up and bed head and morning coffee breath.

The project we took on was a long time coming but we moved on to this project because clearly our lives are not complicated enough and we needed more stress added. Mainly this room and several others were in dire need of help plain and simple. Due to a bathroom leak one of the walls developed mushrooms growing from the carpet last summer. Oh yeah. What a fun sight. A tiny garden of moldy mushrooms. Not for eating. Not for cooking with. Just an ugly distraction and reminder of what lie behind the wall and under the carpet. Yuck!

This is how the room looked before. This is the front room to our house. Truly the only room that hasn't been remodeled. It is of the original part of our house. We added an addition to our home 10 years ago which is primarily where we hang out. Gather. Eat. Pray. Love. This room above is a sort of hodge podge of a room but is also where my computer resides. Where I sit on my hiney in front of my computer monitor for hours surfing the web, sending emails to those who will listen, Facebooking, blogging, Photoshopping. Yep a sort of office.

Notice the treadmill folded up and standing useless in the middle of it all. Sad sight. Thankfully our contractor wanted it for his wife. Because clearly she will get more use out of it than I will in this room. Because this room is for sitting on my hiney in front of my computer.

Can we say ugly paneling? Ugly yellow and burgundy paneling? I did that. Yep, guilty. I painted those walls those colors all from an idea on HGTV. Except the show I watched turned out so much nicer than my half arse job. Ever paint paneling? Paneling that has been painted once before? Don't try it. It peels. It is ugly. You are better off to tear out the paneling, insulate the walls and hang dry wall. Which is exactly what we did.

And this is how things looked behind the paneling. Little to no insulation. We live on a farm with wide open spaces outside and little shelter from the wind. This room has always been cold and drafty. Absolutely not Green at all. Inefficient to say the least. This part of our house is old. Like 1913 old. The workers found a piece of newspaper from the The Detroit Free Press with a date of 1913 on it stuck in the wall behind the paneling. Cool right? Yes, so cool I forgot to save it and at least take a picture of it to prove our house IS THAT OLD!

Another angle for you to see how extremely attractive this all is. I love how completely trashed the berber carpet has become. And how I was so excited when they ripped it all out. I do not like carpet. I do not like it here, nor there. I do not like it anywhere!

Lovely picture isn't it? Makes you wonder just what lies behind this wall. Notice the brick chimney to the left and the heatrun to the right? On the other side lies a closet and a hallway leading to the kitchen. My next post will show you what we did with this view.

And I have to laugh at the broom and dust pan. Have you ever swept carpet before? All the more reason I hate carpet.

Stay tuned for this work in progress also known as money pit.

And I've Traversed Back to This Here Blog

2011-02-21T21:45:00.004-05:00

In case you haven't noticed, I have traversed back to my home. Like nearly 11 days ago. And the reason I have not blogged has nothing to do with not wanting to. Absolutely not. I have had so much I want to share on this blog and my photography blog but as lame as this sounds, my life sometimes, or mostly prevents me from keeping up my blog. Okay, so there have been a few times in the past two weeks I have been too tired and beaten down to post. Alot of that has to do with my life. OF COURSE!

My life is busy. Complicated. Tiring. Gratifying. Trying. Patient. Blessed. What else could it be? Isn't yours?

My mom worries when I take an extended(vacation) period of time when I do not make a presence on this Blogspot.com web url, otherwise known as dvmswife.blogspot.com, add in a three w's, to be exact. My sister worries too. And many of you, my loyal readers probably wonder too. What is up? How is life in THAT household?

I won't bore you with what takes place around here each and every day. I won't tell you how our day starts out(thank you Lord for coffee!), what time the contractor shows up, where each hour takes us, how many errands are run, how much paperwork piles up, how many pounds of poo is cleaned up, how much drywall dust we have ingested into our bodies(cause I really do not know, but let's just say alot), when the drywallers appear to create more dust(kidding of course; they are the best) where our kids take us for their after school activities they are involved in, how many bottles of wine I have gone through since January 1st( ha! ha!), and everything else that takes place each and every gosh darn day around here. Because who cares really. Well I do actually. And I am trying to make sure I keep all of my days straight. My ducks in a row. Stay organized. Somewhat sane.

I will come out and tell you that Tim's brain cancer still scares the tar out of me. Especially at those "all of a sudden" moments when I really start thinking about it. Tim tells me I think too much. He knows this because I smile little and frown more. He knows when I am worrying. I can't stop worrying. Especially his little visit to the ER last Friday night. He took a bit of a fall while going through his workout program at a nearby athletic club. Strange symptoms over took him causing confusion and warranting a visit to the emergency room which happens to be one floor down from where he was exercising. After a series of tests, including bloodwork and a MRI, everything appeared fine. Plus Tim was back to normal and feeling better.

We are still not sure what caused this episode with him. Stress? Fatigue? Chemotherapy from several days earlier? We do not know. Many thoughts race through our minds though. It reminds us how complicated the brain is and works. We are especially reminded of that big C word we curse just about every day.

This is my nearly past few weeks incognito. The remodeling job of 2010/2011 has me seeing some lights at the end of the tunnel. However it has me scurrying around staining trim and painting plenty of square feet to run a train. Not to mention keeping up with cleaning, laundry, two kids, a husband, critters, dusting, paperwork, cooking, picking paint of my fingers, texting, Facebooking, sleeping, playing with Edgar, picture taking, emailing, Ebaying, eating, and cuddling Ruby. All of this in one day.

And so I will quit whining. Right. Now.

Traversing Away for the Weekend

2011-02-11T10:31:00.005-05:00

Friday is here. The weekend is upon us. And that means weekend plans full of fun away from this funny farm for a few days. My mom, mini-me and I are heading to my sister's home for a little rest and relaxation. Lot's of laughter and silliness. Shopping(Hello big city!). Tarjay. Bath & Body Works. Pier 1. DSW. Old Navy. Good food. Red wine. Good memories to be made.

Yet right now I am trying not to think about the next 3 1/2 hours of road time stuck in a vehicle with my mom.

Just kidding mom. Really I am.

The sweet cousins can hang out together and do girly stuff. Hang out with my sister's four kittahs. Sit on the couch with Roxy the red dog. Watch movies. Paint each other's nails green. Watch their moms giggle incessantly. Beg and plead to go into Justice. Be spoiled by their Nana.

I am leaving it all behind. The farm. Animals. Our messy house remodel. My polar fleece sheets. And these two handsome men. I am quite sure they will do just fine without me. As long as they remember to load the dishwasher.

It does not load itself my loves. That is me who loads all of your dirty dishes each and every day. Except for the next three days. Ha! Ha! You are on your own. Have fun with that!

So while they are doing whatever it is these two will be doing while us girls are away, I will try not to picture this face as I contemplate my decision on a pair of shoes or boots or jeans or purse or coat.

"Honey, it will be okay. That is why we are having a walk-in closet built just for me and all of my things!"

On that thought, I am picturing drywall dust and debris all over my bedroom. Oh please say it isn't so!

And I will wish for drywallers who, bless their souls, will clean up after themselves.

So I won't have to.

I will leave this wild and crazy animal behind. Smelly dog smell and all. And I just know she will be sneaking in the house to curl up with her daddy on his favorite chair throughout the weekend.

I am sure I will come home to paw prints on the floor to prove her freedom about the house.

I will block those thoughts from my mind as I type. I will not have to mop for three days. Unless my sister starts whining, hands me a mop and bucket and tells me "Get to it Cinderella!".

Leaving home, my safe haven, means I will be away from this sweetness. I am already missing you my feline love Edgar. I wuv you Edgar. You are so handsome. I am sorry I will not be here to help you find your kitty toys you have lost under the couch or bench or kitchen oven. I will make up my time away when I arrive back home.

Do I have to come back home?

That is thee question.

Of course I will have to travel back home because who else could love Ruby as much as I do? Who will put up with her ridiculous Corgi disposition? Who will love her fox ears, that long body, all four stubby legs, chopped off tail and her adorable bunny butt? Who? So I must come back home on Sunday.

But not without being rested. Clear headed. Relaxed. And having sore stomach muscles from ridiculous amounts of laughing and giggling. But that would be okay because maybe I would actually develop some stomach muscles. Tone up the jiggle a bit.

Back to packing.

I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend!

Happy Friday!

Great News!

2011-02-09T12:11:00.003-05:00

I need to share some news..........other than I am sick of winter. But you already knew that. I think most of us are by now!
So here is the thing....

Tim's 18 month MRI scan came back as "stable" again. Again! Stable meaning no change. No enhancements. Nothing to be concerned about. No tumor regrowth! No progression!
And because so many of you read my blog at least I hope some of you do, I needed to let you in on this great news!

Ruby On A Tuesday! And Edgar!

2011-02-08T09:43:00.003-05:00

Guess who has learned how to fetch?

And can you guess who thinks that is stupid?

A Return

2011-02-03T15:39:00.003-05:00

I thought today was the 2nd of the month. I mean it is the second month of the year. My son just corrected me and told me it is the 3rd of February. "And it is Thursday mom". Yesterday we had a snow day. Who didn't? I thought so.

Snow days always throw me off. So does being sick. I have been a worthless, mindless, sack of you know what since Monday. Upper respiratory infection. Sinus infection. Cold. Blech. Call it what you will. I have it. And let's talk about being tired. Or not. Today I am beginning to feel somewhat normal. If that is at all possible. Am I normal? Dear sister, if you are reading this, please do not answer.

Either way, normal or not, I do know one thing that is feeling normal. Yooper going back to work! Yes. Yesterday, the 2nd of February(thank you) he began to see clients again. Fur babies. Little children covered in fur. Just a few appointments. He took his time. The ladies that work for us, my friends forever, patiently helped him along. Eighteen months ago our future was so damn uncertain. Now here we are and he is gaining back what he loves so much. His professsion! Being a veterinarian! Having his identity brought back to him! What an amazing feeling for him. For all of us around him.

Today I sit here staring at my computer's monitor rereading what I wrote and think to myself "Tim is back working." Two years ago I never would have imagined how our lives would be. One year ago I longed for Tim to be better and working and getting back his life.

And so here we are. February 3, 2011.

Itunes $$ Gift Card Winner

2011-01-30T14:34:00.002-05:00

It is Sunday and I am announcing the Itunes $25 gift card winner. But first, a little rundown of the past few days.

I am sick. Thanks to my cute little daughter I now have her stuffy head of a cold.
Speaking of that cute little germ spreading daughter of mine, she turned 10 yesterday. No more single digits for her. 10. Sniff. Sniff. Makes me sad to see my little baby girl growing up so very fast.
I bought a smart phone. And I am addicted to it, sort of. Yooper Jr. and my 14 year old nearly 15 year old nephew taught me all kinds of stuff about it. Added "apps" to it. Which add to the addiction.
I have been driving my truck these past few days. Yooper took the Traverse "station wagon" downstate for the weekend. I am thinking I want my 'ole truck back. Diesel fumes and all. I love my truck.
I watched "Eat Pray Love" with Julia Roberts last night. I read the book first. Watched the movie second. I loved it. I could relate. I want Julia Roberts hair. I want to move to Italy. I want to.....oh never mind.
I am sick of winter. The end.

So now on to the winner! I really enjoyed your thoughts on this picture. What was Miley the cat thinking? What did her face say to you? That look in her eyes?

But the overall winner that stood out the most and made me laugh out loud was this one.

"Just daydreaming...what I could do if only I had opposable thumbs..."

by Tervpack.

The opposable thumb part cracked me up. Tervpack please email me at dvmswife@aim.com to claim your prize! And congrats!

Thank you to all who left their suggestions! I had fun with this!

It is Friday, Nothing More

2011-01-28T09:17:00.003-05:00

This picture has nothing to do with anything really. It shows a kitten on a desk with the big eared dog in the background. That dog would be Ruby. Remember her? Remember these fun times?

Ruby and Edgar. Edguardo and Rubina. Ruu and Eddy. They are kind of buddies. Edgar could care less about Ruby's constant on guard stance. Ruby wishes he would run away from her so she can chase him and turn him into a tumbling ball of fur. And Edgar is cool like that. And that is how Ruby still rocks and rolls. Satellite ears and all.

Happy Friday to all!

And remember you have another day until my little teeny tiney contest ends!

If Cats Could Talk...Win an Itunes Gift Card!$$

2011-01-25T20:26:00.003-05:00

It is January 25, 2011. Almost the 26th of January for some of you. Some of you in other countries that actually read my blog. Yeah right. People in other countries read my blog? Ha ha, hee, hee.

So it is the middle of winter. Literally. Middle. Of. Thee. Winter. Blech. Yuck. Someone give me some warm weather and sunshine. A sandy beach. Coconut scented tanning oil. Lawn chair. Puhlease!

Of course many of you northerners know exactly what I am talking about. This time of year is tough in so many ways. And since I sense everyone's pity and have had my own pity party lately I am HAVING A CONTEST!

Yes, because I am feeling a little bit happy. Because I opened a bottle of Chocovine(which is wonderful and delightful, let me tell ya) and because I sold two saddles on Ebay, and I painted my toenails for a recent waterpark visit, and the remodeling job in my house is 59% completed and Yooper made me a chocolate cake a few days ago, I am giving away a $25 Itunes gift card. That's right. 25 dollars of Itunes fun. Apps for your cell phone. Your Itouch(that's right Mom!, but you can't enter Mom, sorry)and music for your laptop, desktop, Ipod Nano and whatever else you can use Itunes for.......

All you have to do is give this picture above of our Miley cat a caption. Leave your caption in the comments section and Saturday, January 29th( Minnie Me's big 10 birthday) I will name the winner. Me, the Yooper and our kiddos will pick a winner with a caption that best describes Miley's expression.

Alrighty then.......go ahead.....give it your best shot!

Nearly a Year and a Half Later

2011-01-22T20:15:00.006-05:00

Has it really been nearly one year and close to six months since Tim was diagnosed with that awful stuff called cancer? Not to mention brain cancer. Glioblastoma to be exact. Sometimes I don't believe it has been that long. Time has gone by so fast. So much has happened in that time as cliche' as that sounds. It is true. Time flies when you are having fun right? Ha ha. That wasn't funny.

So here we are. Almost 18 months from that fateful day of July 25, 2009. Here I am, still going through the daily motions of what is thrown at me. I have survived. I have not been admitted into the nutty house. Not yet anyway. Although, close. Just ask my mom or my sister. They hear me vent and probably all too often. I hate to vent but I do and sometimes it just feels better to lay it all out and whine and complain how hard some days are. And they are. Even though some normalcy has returned in our lives, it really isn't all that normal. My life has changed. Mostly good. Better. But also dismal. Of course the worry of cancer always looms overhead. The what ifs. The what then? The dark, awful cloud of cancer hangs overhead too much at times. But more than that depressing thought is how much we have changed through all of this. Good and bad. Tim still remains positive. He still prays often and asks for others to keep praying for him. While his cancer is at bay currently.....well you know. I do not have to explain the possibilities of this awful cancer.

For now we still take each day as a gift and a reminder we are only on this earth for a very short time.(Need I remind you of how quickly time flies? Especially as we get older?) Tim has regained so much of the independence he had lost with his diagnosis. Like driving. He no longer relies on me to drive him here and there. He has that freedom back. Which he loves of course. And me too. Him back driving has lifted an incredible weight off of my shoulders.

With only a monthly infusion of Avastin, his body is recovering from the prior year's vigorous chemo regime. He feels stronger each day. He is working out at a local health club. He has also begun physical therapy again to build up strength on his right side. He developed so much weakness and parysis on his right side which developed from radiation necrosis, tumor removal and chemotherapy. Amazingly he sees and feels newfound strength and mobility in those areas each week. We have certainly learned a great deal about his neurological system!

With his strength returning, Tim has been making more and more visits to work. Staying longer each time visiting with clients that stop in. Consulting with our other two veterinarians, joking and laughing with our employees. He has even done a few surgeries as well! When he comes home from spending time at his veterinary practice he tells me what he did or people he spoke to. He discusses a surgery he performed and how it made him feel. I hear excitement in his voice. I see a happier and more relaxed Tim when talks about pets he worked with. But I also see how tired it makes him, mentally and physically and reminds me he still has a long way to go before he will be anywhere near 100% better. For now, he is enjoying going to work. For now we are very thankful he has made it this far. So very thankful indeed!

We aren't sure what lies ahead. We don't look towards the future too far. I try not to dwell in the past. I am trying to forget many bad memories from the last 18 months. I am working to forgive. We are both trying to heal. In so many ways. I do not welcome change very well. There has been so much change in my life. Good and also bad. Tim has changed. I have changed. How could we not? Cancer changes you. It rearranges your way of thinking. It restructures your life! It makes you angry and bitter. Resentful. And it doesn't make you ask yourself the question "Why me? Why us?" but rather "CAN I do this?" Numerous moments have sat me down, put my head in my hands and caused me to yell out "I can't do this anymore!". As tough as those moments are and as exhausted as I become, love, patience and strength from within still finds me fighting this cancer alongside Tim.

Nearly 18 months later Tim is still here. He is living proof one's mindset will get you this far. Filling your mind with positive thoughts, surrounding yourself with a huge support network of friends and family and asking and praying for guidance each and every day have brought him here to where he is now.

I Made the Top 10!

2011-01-09T09:09:00.001-05:00

People’s Choice Photo Contest | Best Face Photo Winners! | Photography Contests & Photo Tutorials - I Heart Faces

And thanks to all of you!

Hey My Peeps! Needing Some Love Here!

2011-01-05T08:10:00.005-05:00

UPDATE!! I currently have 108 votes! Thank you so much! Voting ends this afternoon so I would still love some more votes of course!

Thanks so much! I will let you know what happens!

I am looking for a little love from you, my fans. My followers. You blog stalkers. Yes you! The ones I keep this blog up for. You who are so fortunate to read about my crazy, messed up, wonderful, blessed life. Are you feeling so very special right now? Good! You should be! I love you all! For staying close by and sticking by my url link. And continuing to click on that link to stop by and see if I have anything new to say or see pictures I have shared.
Back to looking for some love.....

Over on I Heart Faces this week, their theme is Best Face of 2010. Of course I entered. You all knew that right? I searched around my picture files, my portfolio of images that are my favorites from last year. 2010! Where did you go? Vanished. Hello 2011. The above picture is one of my favorite clients I photographed last year and is the one I entered. How could I not? What a face! Absolutely adorable. How often do you get the opportunity to snap a lively moment as this one? Her expression is priceless. These are the reasons I love photography.

So I am asking you my faithful readers to mouse click on over to I Heart Faces and vote for my picture to make it one of the Best Faces of 2010! My entry number is 57 and all you have to do is click on the gold star and the word vote below my picture and voila all done. That's it. It should take you all of 23 seconds. Yes, I timed it except depending on your internet speed may take longer or make be quicker. Or may not work at all. But try anyway okay?
And by the way, THANK YOU! ALWAYS!

Link to I Heart Faces here!

Cat Naps

2011-01-02T19:36:00.003-05:00

Seems after Christmas a real week of napping and catching up on lost night's of sleep took place around these parts. Little Edgar the kitten caught on to this ritual quite quickly and soon found one of his favorite places to sleep.
Little does he realize the person he is sleeping on will soon remove his little boy jewels.
Sorry Edgar. That's life. Life has rules and preventing you from marking your territories throughout the house is rule number one. Which is a biggy around here. Cat pee smell is the worst. Just saying.
Since Christmas our lives have slowed down a bit. Our New Year's Eve was quite uneventful. In fact two people I know were in bed by 10 o'clock. Pathetic. I know. Maybe next year we will go crazy and stay up until 11. Who knows.
A big spring like thaw took place in Michigan which was actually a welcome relief for some. Especially farmers like us. A bit of "spring cleaning" took place in the barns. But today winter is back in full force with very cold temperatures and a reminder we have 3 more months of winter ahead.
It is back to school for the kiddos tomorrow. And I am ready for that!
How was everyone's New Year's Eve? I hope you all had a wonderful evening and looked back on 2010 with a smile!
Happy New Year! I wish for big dreams to be made in 2011!

The Christmas Kitty

2010-12-29T20:25:00.003-05:00

Hello kitty. You handsome little bugger. Meet Edgar. Our latest addition to our crazy, wild, household. He appeared magically Christmas morning complete with this lovely Christmas bow around his fuzzy, soft neck.

Hi Edgar. You are adorable. Yooper Jr. loves you. Yes, he was very surprised. So was Mini Me even though she had already met you, played with you and begged to bring you home. You lived at our veterinary clinic for a short time until it was decided mutually between the husband and me to make you our own.

Now you are home and very much adored.

What could be better than a new kitten in your home? Besides, chocolate and wine, and polar fleece sheets, I'm not sure. He ranks right up there with complete oozing love and snuggly softness not to mention cuteness! Edgar, we love having you here now. You seem to fill a void and that empty feeling of losing three cats in a month. And my camera loves you too!

Ahhh, kitten bliss.

Amazing What A Year Does

2010-12-22T21:46:00.002-05:00

Reading back to a year ago on my blog reminds me of how bad things really were. We were still struggling with the shock and awe of Tim's diagnosis six months out. He was struggling with his new chemotherapy protocol, fearful of focal seizures, adjusting to steroids, and exhausted. And then there was me. Figuring out my new job as caregiver. Running around with my head nearly cut off like a chicken constantly struggling. I really do not know how I survived last year's holidays. Amazing really.
Truly amazing how a year has gone by and how fast it slipped by.
Today I am more relaxed. Breathing in and remembering to exhale. Slowing down a bit and watching Tim live again. Seeing life differently. And rightly so because our life has changed. In so many ways. But we are good with that. Good with these changes. Content with how we have changed.
Tim has been given a new life so to speak. Starting over maybe. He has a long way to go physically. But he has a plan and will work hard to get his body working again.
Christmas is but a mere two days away! This has been an easy Christmas to plan for. I finished my shopping days ago which for me is so rare! However my mind is more clear and rested, happy too. I have enjoyed this holiday season thus far. Feeling thankful. Calm.
I am very excited for Christmas morning and seeing what Santa brings the kids. I have a feeling there will be some memorable presents under our tree. Hee...hee.
Are you ready for the 25th? Have you finished your shopping? Dealing with the crazy hustle and bustle of venturing into stores and standing in lines? Just a few more days. In a few more days Tim will be 17 months out!

First Barbie, Now Antlers

2010-12-16T15:36:00.001-05:00

This was the view from my window over the course of nearly three days. Sunday we were hit with a pretty crazy, wild winter storm. Vicious winds. Bitter cold temperatures. And lot's of snow. Lot's. Monday was a snow day for my kidlets. The winds and snow kept up all day on Monday so sure enough school for Tuesday was called off. Luckily things cleared up a bit and by Wednesday my kids were booted out the front door to the school bus. And rightfully so. Mini Me had her school Christmas program on Wednesday and she really wanted school to be open for that reason. Yooper Jr. ? Not so much.

I still shiver seeing these pictures. Down right nasty snowstorm we lived through. Days like these make me surely loathe living on a farm. Huge open field. No protection from the wind. Livestock to be tended to. Chicken eggs to be gathered. Which makes me bundle up in my big girl snowpants and look after hungry mouths in the barn. I would rather be curled up on the couch with a cat or two all warm and fuzzy. Me, all warm and fuzzy of course.

Speaking of cats.

Miley has been a target lately for Mini Me's new passion for kitty cat clothing designs. Kitty cat dress up. Feline designs by Miley. Housecat en Vogue. Domestic kittah boutique. Felis catus fashion.

Sigh. This is what long, dark days does to one's mind. Lack of vitamin D in their body. Too much time in the house during snowstorms.

Meet Miley the reindeer. Otherwise known as "Dasher". I didn't realize Dasher had a red nose. I thought that "other" reindeer fashioned the red lit nose. But what do I know. What I do know is how pipe cleaners can be created into just about anything including cat antlers. And red noses.

She is one patient kitty cat that Miley. And awfully adorable. Did I mention patient in there somewhere?

Stay tuned for fashions to be displayed by Miley soon in a store near you.

Just kidding. I know. You are welcome.

Note to self. Try to stop with the kitty cat dress up pictures and blog posts about it. Not everyone truly cares to see pictures of cats. Especially cats in clothes.

Duke beats MSU But This Spartan Wins

2010-12-09T09:00:00.003-05:00

Did you watch the game? Men's college basketball? A week ago Wednesday? Michigan State Spartans were down in Durham, North Carolina duking it out against Duke University. Funny huh? I think so too because I didn't watch the game either. The day before we had arrived home from a four day tour with Yooper. We were down in Durham as well you see. And sadly enough we missed seeing this game, live, in Duke University's basketball court by one day. Oh the thought of it makes me throw my hands up in the air. What were we thinking? Our favorite MSU Spartans playing against Duke? And we missed it by one day. 1!

But that doesn't matter anymore. What does matter is how his appointment turned out. Monday, Novemeber 29th was a big day. No, huge! Weeks building up to it were stressful. Highs and lows. Wondering how his MRI and Pet scan would turn out. Good news? Bad news. So unsure. Your mind begins playing tricks on you. I watched Tim like a hawk wondering if him asking me where his wallet is or if he had already taken some medication or not. Or the night he called me asking me where Maddy and I were because he was waiting for us at the ice rink and me telling him she had skating the next night I would ask myself if he is just tired or is something affecting his memory? Should I be concerned? Are these bouts of memory lapses due to chemo brain or lack of sleep or anxiety? Or all of the above? Or is there tumor progression, affecting his every function.

Tempers were flaring days leading up to his appointment. Sleepless nights. Impatient with one another over littlest things. I was becoming resentful. Towards Tim. Towards this cancer. This resentment was tampering with our marriage. Scraping and scarring with sore words to one another. Accusations. Painful distance. I was building up this wall around me. A wall of protection maybe. And I had no idea I was doing this. A wall to escape what might happen when Tim's doctor gave us his scan results. It was a wall of anger too. Was I toughening myself up for what may be bad news for us? Was I in a way sort of preparing myself for a letdown and to let go?

When we arrived to Durham on Sunday we each held on to hope and sought to remain positive. But inside we were failing miserably. We were both terrified. I saw it in Tim's face before we went to bed and prayed together. I really saw it in his eyes. And while I kept telling him it would all be good and his scans would be clear, I felt the fear in my voice. An unwavering fear for Tim, for me and our future. I dreaded Monday. I wanted the day to be over. I wanted to be back home, safe in my familiar surroundings.

Monday morning began very early and it wasn't until around 1:00 we finally saw his doctor, Dr. Reardon. I was holding my breath too thinking "Here we go. Let this be good news." I tried to read Dr. Reardon to find out what he was about to tell us. But I couldn't. My mind was far too distracted to tell whether his smile was genuine or he had just stamped it on his face seconds prior to seeing us to appear positive for our sanity. It wasn't until minutes after he told Tim he could find no metabolic activity on the scans of his brain that I finally let out a long sigh. A sigh of relief. Weight lifted off of my shoulders. And for Tim too. Fear left his eyes. Happiness and peer joy appeared on his face. His scans were clear! There is no cancer activity going on in his brain. No cells reforming. No tumor progression. Only healing. Healing of brain tissue. Some scarring here and there. But he is well. He is here. He is beating this damn cancer!

Now that we are back home and brought wonderful news back with us, I am seeing changes daily in Tim. His mood is better. He is joking around more. He feels better. His spirits are soaring. But up until last Friday mine weren't. Even though we were given such positive, relieving words about Tim's health, I was still not myself. Very distant. That wall was still there. And I was becoming emotionally exhausted. I would watch Tim tell friends over the phone about his news. Hear the excitement in his voice. Except I wasn't in the same mind frame he was. I was numb and going through the motions. Sure there is no cancer there but we still have a long way to go before he is truly "better" and more himself. More ourselves. What about us? The two of us as a whole? How were "we" doing? Truthfully I didn't feel like "we" were doing all that well. The distance I had brought in between us made me feel empty inside and lonely. What happened to my husband? Where was he? What was happening to me as a person? The past 16 months had taken its toll.

It was last Friday night that is finally hit me. And it hit me hard like a punch in the gut. Those big tough walls finally broke down and crumbled. I was lying in bed waiting for Tim to crawl in beside me and that is when I let the flood gates open. Months of holding it in and hiding my sadness and pain rushed out of me like a raging river. Tim asked me why I was crying and I simply told him " I am so overwhelmed". I didn't need to explain anymore than that. And I couldn't in between sobs and choking on my tears. He knew. He felt it too. I was completely emotionally overwhelmed. I realized as Tim held me that I wanted and needed to be taken care of. With months and months of taking care of him and constant demands to his requests. Always paying attention to how he was feeling physically. The tough wall I had built up around me to stay in control, in order to keep my two feet on the ground, to make sure every daily chore had been done, every bill was paid and on and on. This was my life. Nonstop running in circles yet feeling inside like nothing was really getting done. And I didn't want to keep going at that pace and live like this anymore. Looking back to last Friday night and letting those tears fall and snot drip on Tim's shoulder, I know it will be better now. Weeks leading up to our travels to Duke University truly had beaten us down. Stress and anger and feeling helpless as to how to overcome those emotions hurt both of us. It is all behind us now. We are starting over. We can breathe in deep now and let out a relaxed breath. The holidays are here. Snow has been falling. Spirits are up. There is more happiness in this house. A better connection. Feeling thankful and feeling blessed.

Barbie on the Cat

2010-11-20T20:50:00.005-05:00

She loves to play dress up. She still has a few Barbies lying around. She has learned to sew.....sort of. She's mastered the surgical stitch, sort of. She loves cats.

I am not talking about the cat above. The sweet little half equine half feline pictured here. She hasn't learned how to move with a Barbie perched in a saddle on her back yet.

Which brings me to an observation. Have you ever noticed how cats refuse, I mean will not move when they are dressed in doll clothes or in this case have a Barbie saddle wrapped around their body? Have you ever dressed your cat up? Hello? Anyone there? This is the stuff I blog about when I have 4 teenage boys over for a sleep over and they have taken over the television for the night.

Cats sit and look at you with this expression. As if to say, "Go ahead stupid human. Laugh. Giggle. Take pictures. I know when you are sound asleep at night and when the right time is to pounce on your chest and wake you up. I find the best opportunities to dart in front of you while you are going down the stairs."

But it is my daughter who I am referring to. Her new favorite past time is dressing up her beloved and ever so patient kitty Miley. I suppose if this cat really hated having little outfits put on her she would run and hide, bite, growl and hiss. But she doesn't. She tolerates my daughter yes. I imagine Miley kind of likes all the attention. I mean, isn't it written somewhere that cats were a worshiped animal long, long ago before they worshiped themselves?

My daughter has been creating a clothing(design line) for her cat. I love her imagination. I love that she wants to sew! To be a kid again and see life so worry and carefree!

Nearing the 16 Month Mark

2010-11-19T09:32:00.002-05:00

Friday, November 19, 2010. Today marks Tim's last "scheduled" chemotherapy treatment. Such a welcome relief to finally be at this point. To know there may not be any more chemo pills and infusions to invade his body. His body needs a break. It is weak. His skin is thin. Nosebleeds are a common day occurrence. Joints ache. Muscles are fatigued. It is time. He is tired.
In 10 days we will be at Duke University for his PET scan and 16 month MRI. Such an important day for him and for all involved in his care and well being. A good report from his doctor will tell us whether his chemotherapy protocol will be put to rest or if more infusions need to take place.
As time goes on and these months slip by, I think I grow more weary and frightful of each impending MRI, especially this upcoming PET scan which will show his brain in greatest detail. Such scary thoughts. I have been having weird dreams lately about him. Sleep has been restless. But I know I need to place my fears in God's hands. Let him guide us along.
Keep us feeling hopeful and positive.
I love music and this song I recently heard during the movie "Love Happens" gave me chills and of course sent me into a weeping mess. But how this song follows along my path of life right now.

Remember Me? Hello? Anyone there?

2010-10-12T19:52:00.003-04:00

Hi there. It is me. I am back. I have always been here, or so I thought. My life is busy. Who doesn't have a busy life? So much going on. So much to tell you. Very little hours in the day to blog all about it. Lot's of pictures though! Tons. Remember when I subtly mentioned how I had started my own photography business? Yeah, that has taken me away from this blog and all of you. But I am loving it! I am so excited about this new journey, this new path I have chosen to take. I mean, me and my camera? We are in love with each other. And Photoshop. Yes, me heart Photoshop so much. Sometimes I think the post processing part is more fun than actually taking the pictures. I am having so much fun with this new endeavor. Building up new clients. Watching my photo portfolio grow. Learning more and more as I go on. Loving the photos I am creating. Those pictures that make clients so thrilled.
But enough about all that stuff. But if you want to learn more and see more photo sessions I have done you can check out my new photography blog.

And since daylight is fading and I have a family that needs tending to here is a brief rundown of what is going on around these parts.

Our 7 chickens are up to laying 6 eggs a day. Have one slacker chicka on our hands. But times 6 eggs by 7 days a week and holy wah eh! That's a lot of scrambled eggs!
Our bathroom remodel is done. Did I mention that fiasco? Yes, a leaky shower lead to mushrooms growing out of the carpet from the wall next to the bathroom. Yes, fun times. But the new bathroom is delightful.
And because of the black mold and 'shrooms growing out of the carpet, we have more remodeling to do. Think drywall dust. Ugh. Gag me with a spoon. Gotta love old farmhouses. Always going backwards fixing them up.
My daughter just announced "You're blogging!" Yes, it has been that long.
Fall is here. Leaf colors are splendid. Mornings are chilly. Days are shorter. More time spent indoors. More time indoors looking at all the projects to be done. Sigh.
My running days are over due to early stages of arthritis in my big toe joint of my right foot which has lead to plantar fasciitis . Blah, blah, blah. Key in the violin player at this moment. Yes, sad. Very sad. I have loved running. I am not liking not running. Dear foot, Please get better soon. Love me.
We are still without three of our beloved barn kittahs. Yes three. Never did find out what happened to them. Makes me very sad though when I think about it. Jerry, Oliver and Merry. Loved you all so much.
A glass of wine in the evening completes my day and with thoughts of missing kitties. Sniff, sniff.
I am extremely excited for next month when I head down to Dallas, freakin' Texas for a photography workshop. Yee Haw!
Kids are adjusting well to their new school year. 4th grade and 7th grade. How and when did that happen? Yooper Jr. is now taller than me and hitting that almost "I am nearly 13, hear me roar" attitude. Oh heaven's. The hormones in this house are killing me.
Speaking of Yooper. He is doing fine. I know you all worry. His attitude and spirit are up and feeling positive, hopeful. While we have had a few too many bumps come in our paths in the past few months that have upset our marriage a bit, we are moving on from this day forward. Focusing on each other. Our needs, our hopes and dreams. Remember, no one ever gave us a manual on dealing with having Glioblastoma in our lives. Learning as we go. Still being educated.
Mini Me is our chicken whisperer. That is probably why those gorgeous hens or whatever they are laying almost 7 eggs a day. She tends to them and carries them around like, yes, you guessed it, cats.
Ruby and Hope are up to no good. Ha, just kidding. Actually, Hope is learning to bird hunt and she is smart. Very smart. All that pointing and chasing butterflies all summer have paid off. And Ruby? Still so adorable as ever! She has a birthday coming up too!
We are looking at a new vehicle. And it isn't a truck. GASP!

I can truly say we are on a high mountain road overlooking peaks and valleys we have traveled through. Our new normal, while still trying at times, it is here to stay. I am adjusting to this. It hasn't been easy but cancer never is. Cancer always wants to take over your life. To upset those around you. To tear loved ones apart at times. It tests us. It challenges our faith in God. We wonder why? What does this all mean. Why is this so hard? We are meant for this path. Not many could handle this day to day life with cancer. Many would run and hide. And I look around us and realize we are still here, no matter what. Tim is still here. We are all together. We are blessed. As trying as our lives can be, we are so very blessed. And so very lucky.

Remember that, each and every day.

Round Bales of Hay For Sale!

2010-09-23T15:45:00.006-04:00

Round bales of hay for sale. Yes, I must be joking! Of course I am. Who wants a bunch of burnt up, stinky, wet, flavored with fire retardent charred bales of hay? Anyone? Hello? I will make you a heck of deal?

So maybe not.

This was our view around here Monday morning. Sunday, 150 plus bales of yummy cow food started on fire. Spontaneous combustion. Do you remember learning about that in school? I think our hay would have scored a perfectly straight A+ for a science experiment.

I have never witnessed such a phenomenon such as what occurred here on Sunday. I am still smelling smoke too. Wow, how it lingers in the air, in the barn, on my clothes, even after having been washed several times.

Several township fire departments, 3 firetrucks, one ambulance, two tractors, 40,000 gallons of water, and four hours later smoke was still billowing up into the sky. Did I mention Yooper was not even home when this whole debacle unraveled? He was out of town visiting his parents. Which left me home completely and utterly unattended. Which explains why my name appeared on the front page of our local newspaper with a huge picture splattered across it of our hay on fire? Yes, moi. "Farm owner, Amy B@@@............"

Sorry cows. You don't like barbecued hay? Oh well. That is what you get for knocking over your mineral feeder. So there!

Just kidding.

And did I mention how our pond now looks like it has a bunch of beaver homes having a neighborhood cook out? Or perhaps steam rising from geysers without the stinky sulphur smell. Where art thou Old Faithful?

In case you are wondering, bales were moved as they were burning to our pond because clearly 40,000 gallons of water couldn't put out the whole fire.

Mmmm, yeah. Some yummy stuff here folks. I mean cows. Want fries and a Coke with that?

800-900 pounds(because I was corrected earlier...."those were 8-900 pound bales, not 6-700 pounds") of rounded up hay meticulously baled by Yooper himself. All. Gone. Up. In. Smoke. Goodbye.

Hello insurance adjuster. We meet again.

"Not guilty" or "I didn't do it" and "I'm innocent cause I am so cute"

2010-09-23T09:23:00.005-04:00

"Don't take my picture."

Lately it seems we have been having some mighty bad luck around our premises. Is it a sign of the times? The recent full moon? Changing of the seasons? Did I recently walk under a standing ladder? Cross paths with a black cat?

Drink too much Tequila? Kidding about that last question.

And why is Ruby looking so sad? Is it because we finally spayed her, removing her means to create and nurture puppies? Or perhaps we are without 3 barn cats now, 3 less felines for her to chase around and bark hysterically towards.

Yes, still missing our barn cats. 3 now. Gone. Vanished. Disappeared. This breaks my heart. Coyotes? Maybe. Someone's target practice? Possibly. Or just up and left, tired of two rambunctious doggies. Perhaps.

"It wasn't me I tell ya!"

Hope the dope. Wild and crazy. Busy. Butterfly crazed. She misses those three felines as well. Can you not tell? She looks so sad. Pathetic really. Actually....guilty. The other three left in the barn are not as fun to chase because they never leave the barn. Ever. They leave very little opportunities to find themselves in a dog/cat situation.

So back to our recent bad luck situations. We lost 150 bales of hay on Sunday to a fire. Spontaneous combustion. Remarkably no equipment was damaged. No structures were lost. No humans or animals were injured. But 150 plus bales of 600-700 pounds of rolled up hay for our cattle were destroyed. All gone. Ruined. Charred. A mess. Yay for us. Big sigh.

Three kittahs missing? Dog nabbit! Well, how about the chickens..... can I chase the chickens?

I know Ruby. It is horrifying. The part about you not having more opportunities to try and make cute puppies? Oh that? I know. That is sad too. But you, Hope and a handful of Corgi puppies running around this funny farm? Is there not enough chaos in my life right now?

But little, itty, bitty Corgis of cuteness abound?

Make those voices leave my head! Try to focus on other things. Like chocolate. Fresh chicken eggs. My new ringtone. Fleece, everything. Tall boots, jeans tucked in. Pumpkins. Autumn candle scents. Velvety muzzles. Fall leaf colors. New earrings. The lonestar state.

Bad luck or not, life is treating us good.

Been Missing and Missing Very Much

2010-09-10T06:52:00.006-04:00

From DVMsWife

Sweet Oliver. Ollie boy. Olligans. He is missing. He is one of my barn kitties. Big fluffy boy. Where are you? What are you doing? Are you okay? Please come home. Little Miss Mini Me has been looking for you. Up in the stacked pile of round bales. In and out of the hundreds of square bales. Every nook and cranny of the barns.

We don't know where you are or what happened to you. Your food bowl sits on top of cabinet in the horse barn waiting for you to return.

From DVMsWife

And Jerry. Jere Bear. My big handsome, lover of a Jerry cat. He is gone too. It has been a week since they both departed. For Jerry it is NOT like him to be gone from his food dish longer than 4 hours or whenever I appear in the barn. He is there always waiting for some food. Looking for a pat on his head. Some heavy lovin'. Scratching all his happy spots; behind his ears, under his chin, on top of his head. And then some wrestling with my hand; biting and then licking my fingers. What a fun, humorous cat you are. And I miss you so.

My two big lover cats, please come home soon. We miss your big cat-attitudes. Your fun loving personalities. Your fluffiness.

Where ever you are, I hope you are safe. I hope what ever journey or hunt you are on is fun and exciting. But know your home here is waiting and your food dish is lonely.

Come back soon big kittahs!

Feeling Official Now

2010-09-09T08:51:00.002-04:00

A small package arrived in my mailbox over the weekend. I knew exactly what was inside. Butterflies fluttered throughout my stomach. I was a bit nervous to open the padded envelope.

My business cards were inside. I had great confidence in the company I ordered them from. I had read all the rave reviews from other photographers. Yet how would MINE turn out? With this type of business card, they are geared toward photographers. One side showcases your pictures, your style and your talent. And I love that part!

On the other side, all of your contact information appears. I added my little logo too. It is kind of small and when I order more I will have to adjust that.

Overall I am giddy about these. I love their textured feel. I love how they are not flimsy but more heavy weight. They are made from recycled papers too, so extra love factor there!

With these tucked in my purse and camera bag, I am feeling a bit more "official" now. What an exciting feeling!

That 3D Paw Of Hers

2010-09-08T06:54:00.005-04:00

I have had a few interests in how this shot was taken of Merry Sue's paw.
"How do you DO that? Get the paw photos to pop out like that? Very cool."

"Love these photos Amy!! How did you ever get that single paw photo with the lovely bokeh?? You must share so I can experiment with a dog paw or two."

And since I perk up when someone asks me a photography question I have to reply. Dish out my secrets and what this photo's recipe entails. Course how I captured this paw photo is really no secret at all. It is knowing your camera and your lens capabilities. The ins and outs of deciding which film speed to set your camera to or where to set your exposure meter, meet the shutter speed to catch the moment. Which metering to use....Spot? Metrix? Centered? Finally, your aperture. Ahhh....aperture! A photographer's key ingredient in my honest and amateur opinion. Yes...I still consider myself an amateur.
I could write for days about the aperture setting on your camera and which lens best captures incredible "depth of field" for your subject or finding the most beautiful "bokeh". But I won't because you can Google "aperture", "bokeh", "depth of field" for endless amounts of information. But in case you don't feel like doing the Google thing, go to this site and be educated. Seriously. Fantastic photography knowledge!

But since you are still wondering, here is my recipe for this photo of Merry's cute kitty cat 3D paw.

Focal length 35mm , Film speed 500, Exposure 1/50 sec, Aperture f/2.0, Spot metering, shot in Manual mode.

Here is a hint. The smaller the aperture number, the better depth of field, catching that cool blurry background along with better chances for achieving some pretty bokeh. Having this small number set on your camera pinpoints your subject close up, such as this paw photo, defines it, and blurs out your background. A lens that will do this, having the ability to go down to such a small number as 1.4 or 1.8 or 2.0 or 2.8.....you will love the outcome. And I love this the most when using my camera and taking pictures of people, animals and nature. Depth of field....bokeh.....me love small aperture numbers.

And yes, I am weird like that. You are welcome.

Once Upon A Time I Ran A Race

2010-09-06T14:26:00.006-04:00

Once upon a time I ran a race. A running race. Like last Saturday. It was cold. So very cold and windy. Three days earlier it had been 90 degrees and I was square baling hay. Hot, sweaty, gritty, dirty work. But can I tell you about my pipes? My muscles on my arms? Anyone? Okay, maybe another time.

Back to my story. It was cold, windy.....very, very windy. Maybe 50 degrees. I didn't know what to wear for such a cold morning of running. I borrowed Yooper Jr.'s Under Armor baseball shirt. Wore my favorite baseball cap, which is so faded and fraying I may have to retire it. Sniff, sniff. Love that hat.

My sister ran the race with me. My dad too. A family event just about. My sister is a seasoned runner and so is my dad. They talked running before the race began and I wondered what the heck I was doing there.

I was about to embark on 3.1 miles of running in 50 degree temps, gusting winds of up to 25 miles an hour and did I mention I have to run?

I hadn't run a race since my high school cross country days. So long ago. Like 20 years ago. A long, long, long, very long, long, long time ago.

But back up a bit. Like nearly two months ago. I began running. Ha! Jogging at first. I felt good. I began to crave it. Hope became my little running compadre. She motivated me. My life motivated me. Anger sometimes. Angry at the world. Cancer too. Angry at cancer. When I ran those miles, my mind went into this zone. Auto pilot it seemed. My mind discussed my day, what was happening in my life. Emotions flying over family and friends and especially Yooper. My head spinned in circles contemplating moving my photography passionate hobby into a professional setting eventually convincing me to "Just Do It!". And I did. And am liking very much.

When the race began I knew I was going to run like I usually do and not prove anything. Go with the flow. Set a good pace for myself. Relax and not worry. It was just a running race.

Except I fretted I would have to stop and not finish, run off the course and hide, suck my thumb behind a bush and cry.

Well not really. So what if I couldn't finish. Who was I trying to impress? Oh that's right, my worst critique. ME!

My sister took off like a bat out of heck when we began the race. There was no way I could keep up with her at her pace.

But by the first mile she slowed down, waited for me and we ran together for a bit then I gradually found a faster pace and got in my zone. Auto pilot mode.

But I knew my sister was not far behind me by the two mile mark. A loud belch erupted from her and I started laughing.

Just to remind me where she was. To remind me to have fun.

And I was having fun. I was running fast. I felt great. And I thought about Tim. All he is fighting for. All that he has won with his cancer battle. I needed those thoughts because the last mile to the finish line was brutal. Head into the gusting winds with no relief. My pace slowed down but I continued on. I passed a few people that last mile too. I began to feel my lungs work harder, my breathing losing it's controlled rhythm and my legs growing tired. And that made me mad because I am not the one with cancer. I haven't been the sick one. I wasn't going to slow down because of the wind or feeling tired. So what. I will finish this race.

And I did. I finished strong. I sprinted into the finish line as fast as I could.

I looked behind me as I came into the shoot searching for my sister. She came charging in as well. So what if I had beat her. She got over that part later....like the next day. Kidding.

She is another reason why I began running. I watched her do a race in July and wished I could run like her. And here I was, two months later running with her.

We ran this race together. We placed in our age groups. The best part is our dad raced with us. He was so proud. I think a bit shocked to see us both racing, especially me. It made his day I do know this. My mom too. She is the one who took pictures of her family doing a running race together.

I ran a race. I finished it. I achieved another goal. I want to race again.

And after the race my sister and I took our daughter's out for some therapy.....shopping!

Thee end......for today anyway.

How Patient She Is

2010-09-05T16:51:00.003-04:00

I know I have shared quite a few pictures of Merry, our wonderfully adopted kitty cat, and have even blogged about her here and there. She is a fun cat. Interesting. Loves the camera. Okay, my camera loves her and her great big green eyes.

She is a patient cat withstanding numerous scratches behind her ears. Belly rubbing. Carried around like a baby or slung over Yooper Jr.'s shoulder. She is a sweet cat. Except for our other kitty, Miley, who lives in the same jurisdiction, who completely loathes her. Merry is a pretty cool cat but not real famous with the other felines living under our roof.

As I mentioned, she is very patient and willing to be handled like a sack of potatoes by the kids. Not many cats will put up with a 9 1/2 year old girl's minutes and minutes of endless doting.

She puts up with it.

"You want me to play dead little girl?"

"How is this angle for your camera?"

"Talk to the paw. I recently buried this morning's breakfast with it."

"I was a super cat hero in one of my nine lives. I could fly. Now I use my claws to leap back and forth from your antique cloth chairs."

"Little girl is teaching me the Macarena or was it the Pee Wee Herman dance. Either way, I am so easily thrilled to death."

"Oohh scratch a little higher but release the choke hold giggly girl."

"Ahhh this is the life. Love me. Hold me. Pet me. Yeah feed me too while you're at it."

Boys To Camp Equals Sister's Weekend

2010-09-02T21:59:00.003-04:00

How I love this picture of my sister. Shows her silly, fun side!

Before school starts. Before summer officially ends next week. Before these last lazy days of sunshine come to an end, I am looking forward to a fun sister's weekend. And daughters. Retail therapy perhaps, for the little girls anyway. You know, some new school clothes and shoes. Shoes? Did I just type the word shoes? Yes I love new and different shoes. And purses. Oh and earrings. Addicted to earrings. My sister is too. She had her ears re-pierced this summer and her earring buying addiction is now worse than mine.

My cute and oh so pretty niece!

The boys are headed up to camp. I am looking forward to the break. Some time for me. A breather from Yooper. He is looking forward to seeing his camp. Some good 'ole boys time. Mini Me is looking forward to some time away from her big brother. The one who patiently puts up with her and she with him. Which leaves me in the middle of their battle ground. Oh some of the wars that ensue!

This weekend is certainly going to be such a nice reprieve.

My cute niece will be visiting too, keeping her cousin busy and vice versa. She and Mini Me are a good match and complement each other very well. Kind of like their moms. Except I sort of feel bad they may fall prey to their mom's absolute silliness. Well just a little! Because when the sisters are together, we are awfully goofy. But oh how we have so much fun!

Oh happy weekend!

Why I Have Been Missing

2010-08-26T19:38:00.004-04:00

I have been missing far too long. I haven't been miles from my computer either. Nope, not at all. In fact I have been keeping my computer so much company lately I believe we are completely and utterly sick of each other.
Well no not really. Maybe I am. Or not. You see I had this opportunity a few weeks ago. A great chance to use my abilities behind my camera to capture some pictures for a friend. Of her soon to be high school senior son. She asked me like a year ago to take pictures for her of her son. I was elated at this thought. No, ecstatic. So excited. Extremely ready to jump at this chance. And when she called me up out of the blue and asked if I could take her son's senior pictures of course I said yes.
And then it all escalated from there. And I have been on this high since. This huge wave of emotions, "Yes! This is what I love to do!". I had so much fun doing this photoshoot for her and of her son. He was so fun to work with. And now I am hooked. Line and sinker.
With that opportunity in my hands I jumped excitedly into creating my own photography business. Say wahhhh? Gulp! Yep. I did it. Created a name for myself, sort of. Bought my own domain. Built a website. Put together a Facebook fan page. Designed a logo/watermark for my images. And just today, ordered some business cards. Whew. Yes so much to do. So happy doing it. And finding it so easy to put all of this together. As if to say, "So meant to be!".
That is where I have been these past weeks. Well throw in a 3 day tour of Mackinaw City and Mackinac Island last week, which was a total blast with my kids, my big sister and my nephews and niece. We had a blast together. Didn't we sweet sister?
And since I know you are wondering all the details.....well maybe......here is a link to my new website .

And while you are at it, here is a link to my Facebook Fan Page!

Sorry I have been incognito for so long. I do not like being missing for this long. I do not like to neglect my blog site. Yet it happens. I am human. I have a life outside of blogging and lately it has been a busy one. But good things are happening. Good things are happening to those who wait.

Could Be Sisters

2010-08-11T09:32:00.005-04:00

They look like sisters don't they? Mini Me's twin? This is my older niece, Yooper's sister's daughter. She is adorable. Gorgeous really. I just love her to pieces. So does Mini Me. They become attached to the hip when they are together.

I want to steal her away some time up to Northern Michigan and rent her beauty for my picture taking skills. My camera would love her.

I am sure Mini Me would be in the pictures too. You know, attached to her hip and all.

A couple weeks ago we were all together in the same location watching Yooper Jr. play baseball in a little league tournament. We were also in the same town together because Yooper's mom had under gone hip replacement surgery. Coincidence? Maybe. Funny how things seem to all fall into place like they did that weekend. Did I mention this same town is my dad's hometown? I should also mention the baseball field Yooper Jr. played on was next to the apartment complex my Grandma lived in for several years and on the other side of the field is now her resting place. Amazing really.

Especially when Yooper Jr. hit a grand slam over the fence during one of his games. Along with many more hits, singles & doubles. His pitching brought on many strike-outs too.

So many witnessed that huge homerun. My sister was there, my mom and dad, my sister and brother in law, my niece and her boyfriend, and my father in law. I am willing to bet my Grandma and Grandpa were close by watching, cheering him on.

My sister wrote about this over here.

These two cuties are buddies. Mini Me looks up to her, idolizes her. My niece loves her. They have a special bond. I love that. What aunt wouldn't?

Winning the War

2010-08-05T09:10:00.005-04:00

This past Monday Tim and I celebrated. We were down in North Carolina for his one year appointment with Duke University. One year marking the days following our world turning"upside up" with the word Glioblastoma entering our vocabulary, along with hundreds of other cancer terms.

Our visit with Dr. R went wonderful. We had already heard the news the week before of how his MRI looked good. But to hear his doctor tell us in person and hear those words "I really like the looks of your MRI." gave us even more reassurance.

We were given even greater news of how Tim's chemo bi-monthly treatments would subside in October and not in December liked we thought. And this is because of the number of cycles in his treatments. They added up to finish in October. However he will still have a once month chemotherapy session with one of the chemos. But not three and not every two weeks. Hearing this made Tim feel so much better. Those chemo treatments are rough on him both physically and emotionally. Even though his chemo session last week went surprisingly better, not having to do them altogether is awesome.

In two months we mail another MRI to Duke for them to view. Four months from now we travel back to Duke for not only another MRI but also a PET scan of his brain. That PET scan will be a biggy too. Unlike a MRI, it will pick up any "hot" areas of what would be any metabolic activity, or active cancer cells. If his scan comes back "cold" we can party 'til the cows come home. Or something like that.

If any "hot" areas show up on this upcoming scan, then more chemotherapy will have to be done. But our doctor reassured us, explaining if we see some activity of cancer cells, not to go into panic mode. Sometimes that is normal to see those "hot" areas. I am hoping for an icy cold PET scan!

After our appointment with Duke we traversed around in our little rental car. Oh how I loathe driving a car. Tim would laugh at my reaction anytime a truck would pass us on the highway. He said I would duck down and white knuckle the steering wheel. Okay, so I feel so tiny in a puddle jumper!

With the help of our handy GPS stuck to the inside of our car's windshield we looked up an Irish pub. A cold Irish brew sounded heavenly. We found a cool little place down on the main street of Durham, minutes away from Duke University.

We sat outside, sipping our Irish beer, reveling over our past two hours at the Preston Robert Tisch Brain Cancer Center of Duke University.

And I ate this. Chicken quesadillas with seasoned fries and a cabbage, beef soup. Pico de Gallo? Check. Sour cream? Check. Utterly, amazing, fulfilling bliss of a lunch? Check. Check.

Tim said I even licked the plate clean. I probably did. It was soooo good. And I was soooo hungry.

We had a relaxing lunch. It couldn't be anything but relaxing. Such a huge weight had been lifted from our lives. Dark clouds had disappeared. We enjoyed this time together enormously.

We discussed our future. We talked about Montana. He talked about going back to work. He misses working. How he misses his clients and seeing those furry patients. We both beamed talking about our kids. How proud we are of them. How they keep Tim going. We analyzed our families and how much closer we have all become throughout this past year. How so very lucky we are to have this huge support network around us.

We laughed. Oh how we laughed throughout our trip over the course of three days. It felt good too. Really good to laugh out loud. Huge belly aching roaring laughs! It is true, laughter is the best medicine.

Our roller coaster ride of a life is moving along smoothly. I am enjoying the smoothness of it all too. No flips, or rolls or upward climbs or spiraling around, spinning like crazy. A sense of peace. Calmness. Normalcy. I catch myself too sometimes. Those times of normalcy. I see glimpses of how our lives were so long ago. And even though so many things have changed, a few things have remained the same. I find comfort in those normal moments of so long ago. They are still here. This cancer hasn't taken away who we are; what we are together. We are at war with this cancer. Currently we are winning.

Not Diggin' It

2010-08-02T21:15:00.007-04:00

What would run through your mind if you came across this awful sight in one of your flower beds? Horrified? Mystified? Surprised? Weally Weally mad?

Uh huh. Yeah me too. Mad. Ticked off.

No it's not a woodchuck. Nor a rabbit. I know my kids would never, ever, ever dig a hole in their mom's flower beds because they know I would forever ground them to their rooms.

I mean, what the heck?

When I asked my kids about this, my son replied, "Looks like someone is digging their grave Mom."

If this digging keeps up, that certain animal will find his or her grave. And soon.

But it gets better folks. I came across this as well. A chewed up solar light. CHEWED ON. Like being eaten away at. As if it were in the way of one's path. So let's chew on the solar light! Maybe it will go away.

Again, what the heck.

But I wasn't born yesterday. Of course not! I am so much closer to 40 years of age each and every day. Older wiser. I smell a four legged critter when I see this type of work. I smell a trouble maker. An animal with an ADHD disorder.

She is so guilty. Hopelessly guilty. Yeah, that is Hope up there on that table. She likes to sit there so she can look in through the front window of our house.

"Hi humans! Hope here! What are you doing? I want to show you what I recently did! So cool!"

Hope you are so funny! Ha, ha, ha. You make me laugh. You had such a blast digging holes to China and chewing up not one but every one of my solar lights. Every stinkin' one.

Shall we put up a sign now that reads, "Hope was here"?

Hope is a year old now. She is as crazy as ever. Still has that puppy way about her. She loves to jump up and kiss your face, grab at your nose. Or leap up along side you as you are walking, just to smear a couple paw prints on your clean shorts. She and Ruby are buds. They have so much fun together in their journeys each day. They love to play tag and it is usually Ruby who chases Hope because, well who do you think is slightly faster? Yes, Hope is incredibly fast. Yooper says he clocked her at 30 mph one day as he was racing along side her on the four wheeler.

"Honey, really, you were going that fast?"

"I couldn't keep up with her! She is like a cheetah!"

She is a fun dog. As quirky as she can be. As annoying as her puppy habits drive me nuts some days. And even as neurotic as she can be, she is a great dog for our family. She fits in. She fills a void Yooper was missing when he lost his last bird hunting dog to old age. She is great with the kids. She loves Ruby. Hope makes us laugh with her silliness. She amazes us by her smartness!

Did I mention she makes a good running partner with me? Hmmm, more on that subject some other time. The running part. Me running also known as exercising. But it is more like a jog/ walk or Wogging.

I have since fixed my flower beds. Repaired/replaced those pathetic looking solar lights. (They didn't solar light at night any way.)

I hope I don't find anymore of her grave holes. I am not real impressed by them. I mean, she could have at least left some room for a burial stone!

Prayers Answered

2010-07-30T09:58:00.002-04:00

As many of you know Tim's MRI of his brain took place this past Monday at our nearby hospital. This imaging of his brain marked the one year anniversary of how his life and everyone around us went "upside up". That is how Tim relates to it. Not upside down as I call it. Sure our lives have been turned upside down, but in reality we are still on our feet, balanced and on the upside swing.

We travel to Raleigh, North Carolina to visit with his doctor at Duke University next Monday. Just a follow up appointment and of course to find out the results of what his MRI shows. But on Wednesday I received a call from one of the nurses who is familiar with Tim's case. "Bonnie" has been so helpful and full of information and I have conversed with her several times over the past few months. Namely because while Tim went off of his steriods his body was going through so many changes, trying to regain its chemical balance it had before the steriod Decadron was introduced. I also had questions on his awful nausea and joint and muscle pain. Chemotherapy had been pretty tough all along but it seemed to be getting worse and Tim was soon dreading going to chemo sessions. In fact just entering the cancer center made him nauseous and absolutely miserable. With the help of Bonnie and our nurses at our cancer center I believe we have found a happy medium with medication and Tim's chemo session this past Tuesday went surprisingly well. He actually ate food that afternoon! Wednesday he was out on his tractor cutting up the last of some hay to be baled. What a relief to see him feeling so much better this time around.

So on Wednesday our phone starts ringing and when I see Duke University on the caller i.d. I instantly wonder why they are calling. To acknowledge our upcoming appointment with them next Monday? To see if we had mailed the MRI disk to them? Or had they received the disk and maybe something was found on his brain? My heart skipped a beat as I answered the phone ringing. But it was Bonnie calling with her happy southern accent and I knew by the sound of her voice everything was OKAY. Sure enough she was just calling to tell me "Tim's MRI looks good!" Whew! I felt the tight band that has been wrapped around my chest quickly release and I could breathe! She gave me the best news. I was elated. After I hung up the phone I think I jumped up and down and yelled a couple "Woot woot" and a "Hell yea!". Then I ran outside to find Tim to tell him the happy news. He was on his tractor of course. I made him stop and I turned off the ignition. When I told him the news he just looked at me, shook his head and smiled. A huge sigh of relief was released from him as well. As he sat on his tractor, I gave him a hug, a kiss and congratulated him. Yooper Jr. climbed up too and hugged his dad. Awesome moment. Memorable.

Right after that I ran back in the house and typed out the news on Twitter. My Twitter account also links to my Facebook page so I knew many of our friends would soon read the news. I texted the MRI results on my cell phone to friends and family and within minutes my phone was beeping with replies back. I now know what the phrase "blowing up my cell phone" means!

Your prayers to us are being answered. Your thoughts for Tim, cheering us on, sending good vibes for healing are working. I wish there was a way to return all that you have done for Tim and my family by standing by, visiting this blog, leaving such kind words full of reassurance and keeping us in your prayers. I guess the gift I can give back to you is for you all to know how blessed we are to have you all around supporting us, knowing YOU are responsible for keeping us "upside up" throughout these passing 12 months of our lives. All of your prayers are being answered!

July 25, 2010

2010-07-25T12:15:00.005-04:00

One year ago I left Grand Teton National Park of Wyoming with my sister to rush back home for a medical emergency. I left Wyoming on an unexpected flight at 7 in the morning mountain time on July 25th. I traveled there on Wednesday, July 22nd with my sister for a weeklong sister's trip. I left those mountains forever changed. My life suddenly changed in a matter of minutes. As I was awakened to my cell phone ringing that Saturday morning in July and heard my mom's scared and emotional cries to me of how Tim was in the hospital and a mass had been found on his brain. Those minutes following her call as I looked at my sister and asked her if I was dreaming and to please wake me up from this nightmare which suddenly took over me. To be so sad when she told me I was not dreaming; telling me we had to get home to Tim right away.

As I look back at those days following up to July 25, 2009 I realize how so many things can change but so much remains the same. Tim and I are changed by what we have encountered. Cancer has changed our lives. It has changed friends and family. While I still long for the Tim I knew before brain cancer entered our lives our "new normalcy" is here to stay. It has been an ever going change and a very difficult one for me to get used to.

I am not the same person I grew so accustomed to being a year ago. Sometimes Tim jokes that I am turning into him; how he used to be. He was my Superman then but now, me? Wonder Woman? Some days yes! I have to take charge now. I am left to make decisions on my own. Because there are many days Tim is not feeling well enough to do all those things he did so easily before. And while it can be so maddening at times, I breathe in and then breathe out and be patient; be calm.

When I look back over this past year and think of what Tim has gone through I shake my head and still wonder why. What does it all mean? What does the future hold? And at times we start talking about the future and not just in weeks but in months ahead. Perhaps a trip to Montana to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary? Maybe travel somewhere for a veterinary conference so he can at least fill his mind on updated animal medicine? Somehow we are starting to feel like being a year out of this brain cancer mess we can really start living again. Even though he has chemotherapy for another five months, our new normal life is giving us back our dreams for our future. And that feels great. It feels wonderful.

But on that note and on that last sentence, Tim has his 12 month MRI scheduled for tomorrow. And yes it has been weighing heavily on his mind. Mine as well, and friends and family around us. Each MRI is disturbing leading up to it. The not knowing. Sleepless nights. Anxiety. What if this? What if there is progression? What if tumor has come back? Will he be alive in several months? That is how this cancer rocks and rolls you. Not a nice cancer at all. A selfless, mean cancer.

We travel back to Duke University next week for this MRI to be read. Tim has so many questions for our doctor in North Carolina. Questions about his chemotherapy protocol. Questions on medications he is taking. But our biggest question will lie in waiting to hear what the doctor tells us about Tim's MRI of his brain. It all sits heavily on my mind. I hate living from MRI to the next MRI. But we have made it this far. Tim is still here. He is still making me laugh and those around him. We laugh and joke about moments we have lived these past 365 days. We ponder some of those moments. I hear fear in his voice at times. I feel his fear. It scares me too. The ups and downs of this cancer are hard to truly put in words. So many emotions. So many thoughts. The uncertainties but also finding comfort in how we have come this far. Many positives fill our lives but I hate how negatives find us and it is hard to find balance.

A year ago now a memory. A year gone by bringing so many changes. A year of growth emotionally for me, for Tim. A year I feel we have truly lived each and every day. 365 days of ups and downs. 365 days I would do over again knowing Tim would still be here at this time next year.

Not Their Game to Win After All

2010-07-20T11:25:00.003-04:00

"Keep your eye on the ball!" And as much as they tried it was not their game to win. So now baseball is over for another year. No advancing to the state finals for more all star games. No more back and forth trips to games, practices & Walmart to buy countless amounts of G2 and sunflower seeds.
Truth is I am a bit relieved to see it all end. To wave off another season of little league baseball. Send off the pointless baseball politics. Not miss angry coaches yelling expletives in the dug out in front of 11 and 12 year old ears, representing very poor sportsmanship; not setting better examples to our future baseball players.
And that is how our game ended Saturday. An angry coach who wanted nothing more to win. The baseball manager of our team who let out expletives as the third strike was called; game over.
My son took it all well. But I was embarrassed for him. Embarrassed of the adults coaching him and the other players on his team. Winning games is wonderful and exciting and fills one with such positive energy. But losing? What did they all learn from losing? I hope they realized their mistakes. I hope they thought over the line up again. The batting order. The three kids that sat on the bench for nearly three quarters of each all star game. Losing can only teach one how to be better. When you lose, you actually gain. You gain more knowledge and understanding of what you didn't do right. And so next time you remember what happened when you lost and what went wrong. Losing makes you a better player. No one can win all the time. That is life. That is how it goes. Learn from losing. Don't take it out on others. Be a good sport. Have a better attitude when you lose. There will be future chances to win. Winning is awesome but when you lose, you win more.

Good Luck!

2010-07-16T15:05:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow we head out of town to Traverse City, Michigan to finish up the District 8 boys 11-12 Little League All Star baseball games which will determine whether our team heads to the southern part of this mitten for state finals. Tomorrow's game is win or go home. The team we are playing we have already played in pool play and beat. However, new game, new turf, different day. We'll see how things add up tomorrow. It will be a nail biter game for sure. I truly would love to see these boys win and advance to the state finals. What awesome experiences and game time for them to participate in if they do move on to the finals.
And heck, there is always the Little League Championship games..........
Good Luck All Stars!

Mistress Merry

2010-07-13T11:10:00.003-04:00

"Mistress Merry, quite contrary, how do your whiskers grow?"

What do you suppose she is thinking?

"I am not at all amused by your camera lens in my face."

Merry Sue, You are just the cutest thing going on around these parts right now.

Sigh. There's just something about Merry.....

How The Days Fly By.........

2010-07-09T09:14:00.004-04:00

Sunsets around here lately have been simply one word. Stunning. Oranges in such a wide range of hues. Last night I sat out by our pond on the four wheeler mesmerized by Mother Nature's show in the sky. Hope sat with me on the quad. She actually sat still long enough to be petted and loved on. But I think she was holding point to a fish she saw in the pond.

This week went by in a blur. A blurred, difficult week. It doesn't even matter that it is Friday either. Each day can't be over fast enough.

Last Friday we were celebrating Yooper Jr.'s first career homerun. He cracked that ball right over the fence. And then he "ran" the bases. 1st, 2nd, 3rd to homeplate in such a rush, forgetting he could take his time and enjoy that homerun feeling.

He was too excited to slow down.

His teammates high-fived him one by one. A proud moment for all of us. Yooper especially. He was giddy. He was there to witness that ball shooting over the fence. His son hit his first homerun in a game!

With my sister being up last weekend for the 4th of July festivities, she entered a local running race. She told me I didn't have to come watch her race. Ha! I wasn't going to miss out on seeing her complete her 35th race. Besides, many of you wanted to know how she gets those nice legs!

Now you know. She runs!

When I arrived to the race just as all 100 plus runners were lining up to begin, her shirt gave her away and I located her to wish her good luck.

She Sharpied "Team Boyd" on the back of her Livestrong running shirt. She told me after her race was completed that her thoughts turned to Tim when she began to feel tired and wanted to slow down.

I'm so proud of her.

Me and the kids spent some quality time at the beach this weekend. I am very thankful for living on a Great Lake! It was so very hot last weekend. The water was a welcome relief. Our kids love the water too. The could be in it for hours. Oh wait. They did play in the water for hours!

Saturday night there were fireworks that we watched from the beach. All along the beach many people shared their own fireworks. And next year I am going to have to find some of those "real" fireworks. Sparklers are okay, but my kids want the big and bad fireworks!

There were so many laughs over the weekend. The kids especially. Seeing them laugh and giggle with their minds off of "reality" for awhile fed them some normalcy. A time to be kids. Memories made they could think of and smile about and share with their kids when they are all grown up.

As for the matching tank tops? This is what happens when you shop at Old Navy together. This is what happens when you have a sister. My sister and I do this sort of stuff. Not planned. She lives 3 1/2 hours away from me and brought the same tank top with her as the one I wore that night. So did our daughters. Pathetic hey?

Fireworks boomed and exploded in the sky as we watched, picking out our favorites. I love fireworks. There is something about them that makes life seem sort of magical. Promising. Hopeful. Life around me is still normal. Life is still moving even though I feel stuck at times.

As I watched these fireworks I thought back to a year ago and what was happening. Cancer hadn't struck yet. A year ago I never would have believed our lives could change as much as they have.

Looking for No Sympathy Here Folks

2010-07-08T18:35:00.006-04:00

Grief and the cancer caregiver.

Written by Dr. Chris Iliades from EveryDayHealth.com

I did not write this......but I could re-write it word for word.

What cancer does to the caregiver.......read on.

Becoming a cancer caregiver will change your life in many ways, and your loss could be profound. Learning how to cope with the grieving process will help.

Becoming a cancer caregiver for a loved one changes your life. Along with the caregiver stress from new worries and added responsibilities comes the emotional roller coaster of grief. Grief is a natural response that we all have when we lose something precious. For the cancer caregiver, this may include the loss of:

A loved one's health and companionship
The life you had together before cancer
Financial security
Dreams for the future

There is no right or wrong way to cope with grief. How you do so may depend on your own personality, religious beliefs, life experience, and your relationship to the cancer patient. But studies show that not dealing with these emotions and keeping them bottled up inside can make grief last longer and can damage your emotional health — and even lead to physical problems.

Recognizing the Symptoms of Cancer Caregiver Grief

Researchers have studied the stages and the emotions of grief. Although not everyone goes through these stages the same way, it helps to know what to expect. The five recognized stages of grief are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Symptoms you may experience during these stages include:

Shock. When you first find out that a loved one has cancer, you may feel numb. This is part of the denial stage and a normal way that people protect themselves from emotional trauma.

Disbelief. In some cases, denial can lead to an inability to accept the truth of the cancer patient's diagnosis. In the bargaining stage of grief, you may find yourself promising certain behaviors if only the truth can be changed.

Blame. During the anger stage you may find yourself targeting your anger at God, the doctors, yourself, or even the cancer patient.

check

Guilt. As the stage of depression sets in, you may feel guilty for being angry. You may feel that in some way you should have prevented the cancer patient's diagnosis. You may feel that you are not a good enough caregiver.

check, check

Sadness. This may be the most common symptom cancer caregivers have to deal with. It can be experienced as periods of crying or intense feelings of loneliness, emptiness, and despair.

check, check, again

Physical symptoms. Physical symptoms of grief and caregiver stress may include frequent illness, physical exhaustion, trouble sleeping, headaches, and other aches and pains.

check, check, check....triple checkmark

Renewed energy and hope. In the final stage of acceptance, many cancer caregivers find a new hope for the future, peace, renewed energy, and a sense of purpose and strength.

at times, deserves a checkmark

Is "checkmark" one word or two?

Coping With Cancer Grief

The most important thing to know about cancer caregiver grief is that it is normal. Accepting the stages and emotions of grief is the first step in healing. There is no time limit on grief. Expect the symptoms to come and go, and resist thinking that you have to cope with grief alone.

Here's how to start the healing process:

Let yourself feel. Grief should not be ignored. Unresolved grief can affect your physical and emotional health and keep you from being an effective cancer caregiver. Get your feelings out in the open where you can deal with them. Talking to friends and loved ones or writing in a journal are good ways to get in touch with your feelings.

Does blogging count?

Get emotional support. Besides sharing your feelings with friends and loved ones, think about joining a support group for cancer caregivers. If you are still having trouble coping, you may want to seek out a mental health professional for counseling.

My sister, my mom have been there to hear my vent and wail, so have friends, but I think I need to pursue the nuthouse.

Take care of your physical needs. You can't separate the mind from the body. If you feel better physically, you will be better able to cope with grief and other sources of caregiver stress. Get plenty of sleep and exercise, eat a balanced and nutritious diet, and avoid the use of drugs or alcohol to mask grief or relieve stress.

I have failed all of the above suggestions.

Anticipate difficult times. Holidays and anniversaries can be difficult times for caregivers and cancer patients. Anticipate these reactions and seek extra help and support from friends and family members.

No kidding? Really?

Move forward. Be good to yourself. Try to maintain a life away from your role as the cancer caregiver. Keep up your social contacts and leave time to do the things you enjoy.

Move forward....from what?

Be aware that there is a difference between grief and clinical depression. Grief is a normal process that you move through gradually. You will have good days and bad days. If, on the other hand, you are overwhelmed with sadness that never lets up, feel guilty all the time, are having trouble functioning normally, or have thoughts of suicide or death, you need help from a mental health professional right away.

Haven't hit the suicide button yet......have too much I want to do.

Just remember that grieving is a normal process that cancer caregivers should understand and anticipate.

Being a caregiver sucks.

Feeling Squirrely

2010-07-06T11:39:00.003-04:00

Please bear with me as I again revamp my blog or as my sister would say "flog". I came across a free template design website recently and loved their templates and decided to change mine. More construction underway. Sorry for any confusion.

All this construction reminds me of Michigan roads and summer construction signs, slow downs, detours, traffic jams and delays.

Flag That Was Never Hung

2010-07-05T19:52:00.002-04:00

I was supposed to hang this American flag yesterday. Um, yeah. This one the orange kittah is stretched out upon. Actually days ago. I forgot to buy a flag hanger, pole thingy, majiggy. It had to be hung up high to be kept away from a 11 month old Lewellin Setter's teeth. Because you know she would grab a hold of it and shred it with her razor-like canines, just like she chewed up my 2 1/2 week old awesome, had-to-have, I-love-so-much, but-didn't-really-need-another-pair, type of sandals. She chewed up one sandal. I found it in the yard. She stole it from on top of our gas grill where they were drying because I had earlier scrubbed mud off of them after Mini Me decided to wear them out to the barn. Which she has forever been reminded to never, ever , ever do again. Hope and Mini Me.

"Don't wear my sandals dear daughter and Hope, do not chew up my kick-butt sandals."

Got all that? Cool.

A hanger was never purchased. In between buying bottles of G2 for baseball games, avacadoes for guacamole, beverages, hot dogs, hamburger buns and loving having gritty and sandy toes, coconut smelling, suntan, oiled skin, a hanger was forgotten. Until yesterday. This is where it was left. Not forgotten but set aside. I know, so very unpatriotic of me. I am doomed.

And this is what happened. A favorite kitty of ours found it to be quite a comfortable, royal spot for her highness. Warm, cozy sun rays warming her furry body.

"20 year old Colby, I couldn't move your cuteness off of this flag, ever."

Instead I took pictures.

She is twenty years old folks. T-W-E-N-T-Y!!

She's earned a spot on our table and if she must lie on this flag, so be it.

So today I was in Home Depot and forgot to purchase that flag hanger, again.

Is anyone else as exhausted and whooped as I from too much sun, laughing with friends and family, loads of quacamole, 90 degree heat, mosquito bites and fireworks galore?

I have a 4th of July weekend hangover.

Tomorrow I will be better. Tomorrow I will share highlights from my weekend.

How was yours?

The Weekend Is Here!

2010-07-02T11:54:00.002-04:00

I love this time of year. I love July 1st! I am happy to say I am happy. I feel blessed. Relaxed. Full of energy. At peace.

We have a fun weekend planned ahead. Beach time. "Daisy Dukes, bikinis on top."

Ha, ha just a little blip from that Katy Perry song. Perfect summer song.

My seester is in town! She and her daughter Negam are here to do that beach thing. My sister will eat loads of ice cream, cheer on Yooper Jr. at his baseball games, run her 5k race(her 35th running race!)and have a Corona with lime with me. We will giggle. Burp. Read trashy magazines. Talk about our lives. Compare parenting notes. Rave about our new sandals. Yeah stuff like that.

Can't wait.

Ice cream happened last night. Chocolate chip cookie dough in a waffle cone to be exact. Yum!

The weather was so beautiful last night. Bluest skies. Calm, crystal clear waters. Bliss.

Mini Me digs her aunt Asil. It is really sweet to see her interact with my sis. They have so much fun.

Are you digging Mini Me's new haircut? She had eight inches taken off. And bless her little soul, she donated her cut off pony tail to Locks Of Love. Great kid. Love her.

Happy Friday! What are your plans? Be safe. Be happy. Relax. Enjoy. Feel blessed. I do! I will!

She's Alive.....really I am.

2010-06-29T14:28:00.003-04:00

It is windy today. And cool outside. And because I have roughly 10 minutes to put together some pictures and actually blog, you are all welcome. Did you miss me? Have you wondered where I have been? Me too! I have been incognito for far too long. It has upset my sister. My mom has been nagging me to blog. "Why don't you blog? Just blog something!" Yooper too. He has been on my case. "Are you ever going to blog again? People want to know how I, I mean we are doing."

I have been in blogging denial. Frankly and truthfully too busy.

At least I spent too much time revamping this blog the other day. New layout. New look. What do you think? Yay or neigh? I am on the fence too.....

It is freakishly windy and cold today and I have spent half the day catching up on paperwork. Paying bills, reconciling bank accounts, bean counting.

Well no on that last bit about beans.

It occurred to me I seriously need to pop on here and say hi.

HI!

Anyone there?

Baseball and softball are over. Well not actually. Little League season is but now my son is off to play games in the All-Star league. Woo hoo! Can I get a high five for Yooper Jr! First games are this Friday and Saturday which seriously cuts into the beach time I have been dreaming about. Guess some baseball popcorn and Laughy Taffy will have to suffice.

Hope loves to swim. She is a swimmin' fool. Fast too. She loves to chase the goose family around our pond causing quite a ruckus amongst the parents.

And she swims and swims. Chasing the dragon flies as they buzz above her head.

Ruby watches from the shore. Scouting out frogs with kids. Do you all miss seeing pictures of Ruby? Me too. Have to work on that.

These are the only pictures I have taken of flowers. This year. At all. Absolutely amazing right?

See? This is why I have not blogged. I am that boring.

I had to include this last picture because my sister is coming up tomorrow for a long visit. We have beach time planned. Maybe some big lake fishing. Fireworks! Hopefully no grill fires. Sunbathing. Lot's of giggling. Chips and dip. Yummy cocktails.

I am still here folks. We are doing pretty good. I shake my head though because just when things seem to be on an even keel and we are rolling along nicely, bam, a big wave or two comes along and tosses us around. Today and even though it is windy and cool out, the sun is shining, Yooper is out cutting hay, our kids are content and happy and I am blogging. Guess you would say life is pretty good right now. I will end this entry on that note.

I Heart Faces ~ Pets!

2010-06-29T07:00:00.000-04:00

Picture specs: Nikon d80, 85mm, 2.2 Aperture, 100 ISO, 1/400 sec.

This week's theme over at the I Heart Faces Photography website is Pets! Let's hear it for our beloved pets! The bring us such love and make any day seem happy no matter what. And best part, they don't talk back to us.
I had to enter this week's theme because, duh, I am a pet picture-takin' freak. I think I have more pictures of animals than my kids right? Okay, don't answer that. The cute gal judging all of the picture entries is, get this, 18 years old. E-I-G-H-T-E-E-N! She has her own photography business and wow, does she ever take fantastic pictures of PETS! I am in awe of her work.

Stop on over to I Heart Faces to see more pictures of pets other people, like me total amateur photographers, have shared. And also read about their guest judge this week.

10 Months And Looking Great!

2010-06-02T14:11:00.002-04:00

Tim and I received some wonderful news today! His 10 month MRI came back clean! Are you doing a happy dance too? Relief. Assurance. Gratitude.
Thank you for all of your prayers, your hopes for healing and sending your cyber hugs our way. It is all working!

Ruby Tuesday ~ Hope the Dope

2010-05-25T11:56:00.002-04:00

Hope is really growing up. No longer the lanky, cute, little puppy she has blossomed into quite the sleek, trim, ten month old. She is beautiful for sure. Wild and crazy at heart. She is a bird dog. I must keep reminding myself of this.

She chases things that move C-O-N-S-T-A-N-T-L-Y. Shadows. Butterflies. Birds. Cats. Flies.

Hope can move extremely fast. Cheetah. Gazelle. That is her. Leaps and bounds she can cover yards and yards of ground in seconds. Seriously. It is amazing. Warp speed. No lie.

A working dog at best. Very intense. Very concentrated and serious. Completely into the "bird dog" cliche'.

But she is goofy. Thus her name Hope the Dope. My kids starting calling her this one day. Must be having to do with rhyming her name with another word to make it sound funny. At least that is what they told me. You know kids. They conjure up stuff like this. I have no clue where they learn this from. Must be from their dad.

She is on constant go. Continuous mode. Auto play. Fast forward. High gear. In four wheel drive.

And yes she loves to go muddin'.

She loves water too. Her first attempt swimming nearly caused me to panic as she began doing a maddening doggy paddle as if she was drowning. But then I realized she was trying to catch the splashing water. Sigh. I know. She is weird.

I should have known she wouldn't be anything but when I first met her siblings and mom. Standing in a pond, these dogs pointed fish swarming around them. And shadows coming from tree branches above moving around the ground below? Yes, those were chased wildly like there was no tomorrow. It was a sight to see.

Now I witness these behaviors everyday with Hope. Explains why I am so tired at night perhaps.

She spends the majority of her time outside now. Because of the muddin' thing mostly. But she is quite happy outside. She always has stuff going on in her little head of hers.

"What was that? Did you see that? I heard something. Didn't you hear that? I must go chase it. I don't know what it is but I must catch it."

She exhausts Ruby. Mainly because Hope takes her on adventures she otherwise would not encounter. Hope is bad like that. Think running down the road. Or meandering across the road into a nearby hay field. Or wandering way back to the cow paddock licking up fresh calf poop.

Dogs. They are disgusting at times don't you think? Blech.

So if one is napping one is usually on guard. It is rare to find them both asleep. Rare indeed. Hope doesn't sleep much. She doesn't want to miss anything! Especially those butterflies. Oohh and flies. Oh they are way fun! And wait until the hummingbirds make a comeback and find my feeders.

Can you picture Hope chasing a hummingbird? I can and images of this cracks me up.

Ruby's eyes are actually closed. A pooped out pup.

"Can I get some stinkin' sleep here? I'm done chasing imaginary friends with you Hope. Unless a cat wanders nearby, leave me be."

And if this picture doesn't cause a little giggle! Oh good grief Ruby. You are thee cutest dog. Even if you are a complete opposite to Hope. Must be why you two heathens are such buddies.

Because My Nephew Is A Hero

2010-05-24T09:56:00.006-04:00

On Saturday at my daughter's softball game my parents asked me if I had read our local newspaper that morning.

"You have to read the "Just For Kids" section. Someone you know wrote something special in there. It is pretty amazing." So I wondered then what it was about after they told me my 11 year old nephew had his writing displayed in the paper.

The "Just For Kids" is a special page for our area's elementary schools to submit various themes of writing from students to our town's newspaper. Every Saturday a school is picked and a class shares a particular theme they wrote about. This past Saturday's theme was called "Students all have their heroes".

When I arrived home from the softball game, I asked Tim if he had read the paper yet. He hadn't but my brother had called and told him what it read.

Tim told me, "You know I haven't cried that much since this whole cancer set in but that brought some tears to my eyes."

So I opened the paper to read what my nephew had written.

My hero is my Uncle Tim.

He did good deeds because he saved animal's lives because he was a vet. He shows bravery and strength because he is suffering through cancer right now. He really inspires me a lot because he shows me that I can be brave through hard times. My Uncle Tim is my hero and that's why I love him.

After I read this I swallowed a huge lump in my throat and blinked back tears. My 11 year old nephew shared such a huge inspiration in his life at that moment. I was speechless. While many kids shared their heroes of moms and dads, grandparents, a friend, their pet cat, my little nephew's words went straight to my heart. Our heart's swelled. We felt so proud. We felt such hope. Truly that nephew of mine is my hero and I love him to pieces.

Need Prayers

2010-05-22T07:17:00.002-04:00

I am needing your prayers. Tim is needing your prayers. We need some of that positive energy right now. He is having a tough time right now. Since his last dose of the steroid he was on for nearly eight months, his body is having a hard time bouncing back. Hard to explain and complicated to share how that steroid really changed how his body works. It affects his adrenal gland. And now his body is craving the steroid and causing terrible side effects. Dry heaves, nausea so incredibly bad, little appetite, weakness, fatigue and the list goes on and on. I am at a loss at times as to how to take care of him. It has been a rough couple weeks and I wish he could get a break.

Monday is his 10 month MRI scan. 10 months. Nearly a year since our lives so radically changed. Tim has been losing sleep over this upcoming date with that MRI machine. Lot's of sleep. Lot's of restlessness. So many thoughts racing through his mind. The what if's. The what next.

I am beginning to get to that exhaustion stage again. I am not sleeping well because I am worried for him. My heart races. I feel sick for him. I feel helpless. I do not want to feel these things. I want him to be better. I want him healed. I have so many wants.

I need your prayers. I believe in the power of prayer. I pray for Tim to feel better. I ask for healing. I ask for strength.

This will get better right?

Sweet Deb

2010-05-19T21:58:00.003-04:00

Who looks younger? Okay, don't answer that. One of us here is two years younger than the other. Can you guess who?

Trick question right? I do know that I grew up with this horse since she was eight years old. May 15, 1975 was her birthday. 35 years later she can still kick into her Tennessee Walker "running walk" and glide along. Oh how much fun is she to ride.

I handed my camera over to my daughter tonight much to her excitement. She captured some really cute and timeless moments between my Deb and me. Funny how you can have such a relationship with a horse and know each other so well. As soon as I gathered up her reins and squeezed my legs around her she understood and moved into her second gait, or her running walk, so smooth, so effortless, even at her ripe old age of 35.

What a special horse I have. What a special bond I am able to share with her and my daughter. My daughter and her good friend "B" brushed her and braided ribbons into her mane and tail tonight. For almost an hour they brushed her and giggled over how pretty she looked. She sure did look special. What a sweet old girl she is! And with their urging, we threw a bridle on her and lead her around. She munched on grass and then carried "B" around on her back while my daughter lead them around. Mini Me soon begged to ride her and then off they went.

I will share more pictures soon of her riding sweet old Deb. Wow, what a flashback it brought to me of when I was her age riding Deb around.
I still can't get over having this horse for as long as I have. I am very lucky. So lucky indeed to have shared so many precious and huge memories with such an animal as this horse. A horse like no other. No more special and greater bond between a human and animal. I love this horse with all my heart. She is one of my best friends.

Ruby Tuesday ~ Proof They Do Nap

2010-05-18T09:19:00.003-04:00

A very rare moment for these two doggies. Sleeping. Napping really. A brief breather. To take a picture of Ruby with her eyes closed? Difficult. This was taken through our front bay window. Yooper caught them napping and told me to take a picture. I snuck over with my camera and snapped a couple shots before the sound of my camera's shutter click awoke Ruby's sleeping ears and her radar detectors began working again.

And of course her alarm system went off and thinking a cat was nearby sneaking up on them she bounded off the porch with her side kick in tow.

Their four minute nap was over. But I had proof they actually do sleep, these two heathens or ours. When one isn't off jumping up in the air trying to catch butterflies(Oh boy do I have to get a picture or video of that to share!), the other is at the heels of my horses barking her orders to them. Or at least by my side wanting to lick my toes.

Hard working dogs that is what they are. Hard at play. Crazy and silly. Busy, always busy. Life is good for them.

Unlike the two pyscho kitties in our house who still refuse to get along.

Weekly Randoms Of My Crazy Life

2010-05-14T19:57:00.005-04:00

Another Friday is here and just about over. Where did this week go? It literally flew by. I recall on Wednesday feeling like the week would never end but here it is now Friday evening and I am amazed the weekend is already here.

Time flies when you're having fun right? I'm not real sure how much fun this week went. Not much fun for Yooper since Wednesday's chemo. At least the weather has been crappy and has made for good "sick" weather. Either way, being sick from chemo medications royally kicks one's butt.

So another week of my "randomness thoughts". Thoughts that come to my mind randomly. Bear with me. It has been a long week even though it flew by.

Did I mention that one of our cows has baby twins by her side? I totally forgot to mention that the other day. Yes, we have twins on the ground. Twins on the ground. Feeling like a fool for not mentioning those twins on the ground.
My kids officially start their baseball and softball season tomorrow. Last Saturday you may recall me whining about snow forecasted and then our little league's opening ceremonies cancelling. Tomorrow will be our "make up" opening ceremony day. And since Mini Me's game was cancelled last Saturday, guess what? Her make-up day is now this Sunday. Do they not know that Sunday is a mom's official day off? Hello? Anyone listening?
I'm PMSing. Totally PMSing........sorry guys. I'm just saying. I'm so PMSing.......
I brought my horse trailer home today out of its winter storage. Oh the joy of seeing that baby in the side mirrors of my truck! It is now parked next to our garage and needs some good ole' spring cleaning.
Next weekend I'm taking one of my horses to our area's "horse extravaganza" being held at our local indoor ice arena. Except the arena is filled with sand! I am very excited to ride in the "dressage" lessons! Yep dressage! I love dressage riding. And yes, I will be riding in my western saddle.
My mom went to see my sister this weekend. I sent down with her a care package of goodies for my big sis along with a basket of stuff for my neice's 11th birthday. 11? Seriously? I made cookies for my sis and her family. She texted me about them saying "treats!So much for the diet. yummmm. Screw da dum diet."
I've been dreaming of a new camera now for quite some time. Dreaming I tell ya. Dreaming, dreaming, dreaming. I'll let you know when I wake up.
I saw my cute little nieces the other night at my Yooper Jr.'s baseball game. I love to pick them up and hold them on my lap and cuddle them while we sit and watch the game on the bleachers. Oh what sweetness those two little cuties are!
Some of you asked what our new cat "Merry" thought of Ruby and Hope? Ha! Not much seeing that those two heathens don't come inside much anymore, if only at night to sleep in their kennels. Hope is a wet, muddy, pig of a dog. She is much happier bounding around outside chasing her shadow, birds, invisible friends and butterflies. Ruby? She loves napping on our porch and kissing my toes when she comes inside.
I recently finished a book by Shreve Stockton called "The Daily Coyote". I truly enjoyed it. It made me long for a simpler, less chaotic life such as hers. Made me long to live out west. The book is about this gal raising an orphan coyote and she shares such beautiful pictures as well. She has a blog here and here but you can find out more about the book here. I picked it up while we were waiting for our flight out of Raleigh/Durham Airport in March. And yes, it took me almost that long to read it. I'm now looking for another book to dive into. Any suggestions?
The weeds in my flowerbeds are out of control and need to be dealt with. I'm so ready to bring out the rototiller and massacre them.
And speaking of rototiller. Yooper is dreaming of his garden for this year. He is dreaming of corn, tomatoes, squash, broccoli, and I will let you know when wakes up from his dream.
I blogged four times this week! It is a "mother's day miracle"!
I read in our local newspaper today of an upcoming concert a few hours from our town that will feature "3 Doors Down". Yooper loves this rock band. Loves them I say! Told me many times that is the one band he must see. Tomorrow I am calling on tickets. The concert is the 23rd of July. Almost a year to the day our whole lives were turned upside down.

So those are my randoms for this week. Off the top of my head. Silly stuff and happenings in my life. It has been a crazy week. I think I say "crazy" whenever Friday comes around. Believe me when I say I never live a dull moment. A dull moment never finds its way around here but when it does, I do savor it, relax and munch on it for a bit. Sometimes dull moments are good to have especially when you do have a crazy life!

A Day After Chemotherapy

2010-05-13T08:49:00.004-04:00

The day after Tim's chemotherapy session looks alot like the above picture. Tired, fatigued, nauseous. Oh and Miley, our cat, finds herself curled up on his chest in complete, contented bliss. I took this picture a few weeks ago after his session of chemo. Yesterday he had his round of chemo at our hospital's cancer center. Two separate chemo drugs filtered throughout his body for nearly three hours. Even with an anti-nausea drug to counteract, yep, you guessed it nausea and dry heaves, waves of heavy nausea set in. He begins to feel sick even before he sits down into the chemotherapy recliner. Even before he walks through those cancer center doors. Why? He knows how the chemo drugs will make him feel. He dreads it. He hates how it causes him to feel so fatigued and pretty much miserable. He doesn't want to be sick for the next three days, feeling exhausted and yucky. He doesn't want to sit in his chair all day watching television but not really watching what is on.

Yesterday's chemotherapy was much more difficult for him. He was so sick; more than I have seen him since his first treatment in December.

His baseball team had their second game of the season last night. Tim fought through the nausea and dry heaves and sat in the dugout coaching his boys, cheering them on. He held a bowl to his face every time he felt waves of heavy nausea set in. He didn't want to miss his team's game. He told me "I don't want to miss my son's first home run."

That convinced me enough that despite feeling so awful he is completely devoted to seeing his son play baseball and being there for him.

While I sat on the bleachers watching the game before me play out, I could hear Tim's encouraging shouts from the dugout. He sounded so normal and for a second I felt like things were back like they were a year ago. Tim was healthy.

But hearing his voice, just to be able to hear him converse with those kids, reminded me that he is still here. He is still fighting this cancer. He wants to keep living. Even though chemotherapy is ravaging his body it is also fighting for him as well. It is keeping any cancer cells from forming more tumors.

They say undergoing chemo is the hardest part of having cancer. But without these cancer fighting drugs cancer would win. Even though cancer is the meanest team to play and probably the toughest, Tim is going to hit one home run after another and throw strikes each and every pitch.

So there, brain cancer, take that!

Calf Cuteness

2010-05-12T11:32:00.003-04:00

Another year, another crop of calves. What cuteness these little ones. Beginning April 15th our first calf of the year was born.

We soon began calling him Uncle Sam. But I like so many of your suggestions when I Twittered and Facebooked what names would suit a calf born on the national day of doom called "File your freakin' income taxes or else" day.

Owen(as in owing money, funny!), Taxi, Lil Dollar, and then my mom suggested "Dave" because that is our accountant's name, bless him, and also my dad.

Uncle Sam seemed to fit. Sorry Mom.

This is him complete without ear tags and a milky, foamy mouth. He's a cute little bugger. Short, stocky and just perfect.

Ear tags never were punched into his ears. We let a few slip by simply because some things just seem to slip by these days.

But in all honesty, ear tagging was always Yooper's job. No easy task for him now. We don't worry about who was tagged and who belongs to who. We'll figure out that out come fall.

Nearly a month old and they already are fixing their stomachs on some roughage. They grow up so fast.

Calves start on solids so much sooner than human babies. Have to keep those four stomachs ruminating you know.

Uncle Sam again. He looks so much like his daddy.

Last year we had a little calf I fondly called Izzy. She was our only one born with a white face with white eyelashes and nose whiskers. This one is adorable as well. Her obvious coloring keeps us from having to tag her. No mistaking which mommy she belongs to.

And it isn't this one. Her calf is completely black just like her. Mama cow here wants a handful of grass or better yet, a whole field of yummy grass.

So does he. "Hello Big Daddy!"

"Yo, paparazzi, pick me some grass please. Dumb, dumb wants some yum, yum."

I've created a monster with this one. Whenever he sees me walking around in his paddock to check his herd he wanders over, all 1800 pounds of beef, looking for handouts of grass or a bucket of grain. The puppy dog he is, usually gets a treat or two.

"Where are your ear tags?"

One more calf left to be born and then another calving season over and done with for the year. Pretty uneventful really. Just how I like it. Low-key. Relaxed. Very little stress. Now we watch them grow, feed them ridiculous amounts of hay and soon it will be fall and these babies will be on their way to new homes. Their mamas will be prego once again and come next April another batch of cuteness will be born.

24 Hours Later, Snow Is Gone And It Is Mother's Day!

2010-05-09T08:52:00.002-04:00

Voila! 24 hours later it is May again!

All that white stuff melted except for a few chunks of slush here and there. So glad to see it gone!

Hope my neighbors don't mind me peaking out my window at them and taking a picture. I 'm sure they can see me too. They are the best neighbors. They keep a close eye on the happenings on our funny farm and well to make sure all is well with our kids and Yooper.

Such a lovely sight. Mud. This is Hope's sandbox. She loves to be dirty. We have some major landscaping to do. At least yesterday the snow covered up all of this mess you see. I don't think the kids will be swinging on that tire anytime soon. Yooper Jr. would probably push his little sister into the mud. Then she would start yelling at him and chase him down and tackle him. Soon he would come running inside to tell on his sister to his mom.

Then I would remind them of those wonderful, sweet Mother's Day gifts they gave me today. I would ground both of them to their bedrooms forever and all of those nice things they wrote in their cards to me would forever be forgotten. Finally I would shout "Wait until your father comes home!". Except they would give me a funny look and tell me "Dad is already home Mom." I would then throw up my hands and begin pulling my hair out and tell Yooper to deal with these children of ours.

Later I will hear them talking about what they will make and give to their dad for Father's Day. And I would no longer be the "Mom of the Year".

The end.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you awesome moms out there that make this world go around!

Snow In May? Of Course!

2010-05-08T10:36:00.002-04:00

This is what I woke up to this morning. So I crawled back under the covers, snuggled with Yooper and kept telling myself it was not November like it really felt.

Then I thought maybe it was those two glasses of yummy Merlot I drank last night.

Naw silly! It's freakin' May 8th!

The Weather Channel forecasted correctly. Again.

Yooper told me to take some pictures for my blog. Who wants to see scenes of snow in May?

I told him to get outside and start shoveling. So he made me a yummy breakfast instead.

Poor cows. They are all huddled together in the barn. I am sure they are crabby. I know my "bull" friend is wondering if the grass goddess will come see him soon. Sure, here is some frozen grass you big 'ole hunk of beef.

I sure hope that one cow doesn't decide today is a good to have her calf enter the world. What a cruel thing that would be.

Which reminds me I better head out there soon to do a cow/calf check.

And I am so glad I fed those future steaks their three round bales yesterday and not waited until this morning.

But this, oh this....pure bliss. Such contentment. So happy. Cute happy paw outstretched. It's a good day to be a cat. A good day to curl up under the blankets and read a book or watch a movie. Perfect day to bake some cookies. Yum, cookie dough.

A good day to do absolutely nothing!

Weather Woes and Randoms

2010-05-07T17:23:00.005-04:00

Mother Nature pulled a fast one on us ...once again. The easy going, very little snow fall we succumbed to over the winter has now decided to play catch up tonight and tomorrow. I faintly heard one radio station mention 3-5 inches of white stuff. Another station said 4-6 inches while I have a sneakin' suspicion we will see at least one inch.

My poor tulips. They are doomed to bloom.

I've called all of Yooper's team baseball players to let them know of tomorrow's cancellations of the little league parade, opening ceremony and their morning's game. Word travels fast in this small town. They already knew the news.

So hopefully next weekend will be nicer weather wise and we can celebrate opening day of America's favorite sport.

I know I am content with this cancellation. I am happy for the decision made. I am having a glass of Merlot as I type. Relaxed, happy and so glad it is Friday.

I've decided to just throw out a few randoms of my life as of lately. To try and fill each and every one of you on what goes on around here would take up hours of my time. Hours I do not have most days. Hours I use while spending time outdoors when our weather is nice, which it has been up until today.

I have been outside weeding my flower beds, pruning branches from trees, making sure Yooper doesn't crash the riding lawn mower as he mows our acres of lawn, keeping to my mid-wife duties to our cows(one more cow to calve!), and riding my horse. Yes that indoor riding arena has been seeing quite a few hoofprints lately. Even my daughter has been bitten by the horsey bug to ride her pony and her favorite gelding, Three. She loves to ride them. I love to watch her ride but I laughed in amazement as I adjusted her stirrups to her ever growing long legs! She looks so cute and grown up on that 15 hand 2 inch gelding of ours.

So the randoms of my life right now go like this.

Merry the new kitty cat we adopted has fit in perfectly, except, and I mean except for our other cat Miley's total disapproval of her. Cat fights and screams and growls still ensue. I hope it gets better soon.
We have baby chickens now. Yes, little, itty bitty chicks for laying eggs. Pullets, which are the egg layers. I thought they were hens but it just means they all lay eggs. I still get confused over the fact roosters are not needed for eggs to be formed. I am looking forward to those fresh eggs.
I've become addicted to Sex and the City lately. One of my favorite girlfriends is an addict to this show and let me borrow her "second season" set. I love watching it at night when everyone else has gone to bed and I have some "me" time. It makes me laugh and giggle!
I have hardly touched my beloved Nikon during these past few weeks. I haven't been motivated to do so. But how I miss taking pics. I need to find some kids other than my own to photograph. Ones that won't make faces or run and hide from me. Any takers?
My good horsey friend just bought an Arabian horse through an online auction. She drove all the way to Minnesota, by herself, to pick this "never been loaded into a trailer" horse. She amazes me with her wit and bravery. I wish I had those traits! Did I mention she has a black belt in karate and has a black lab so she can hunt geese? She rocks!
Hope and Ruby have found forever homes outside. At least Hope has. They come in at night but stay in their dog crates. Reason why? Hope loves the pond. She loves to be dirty. She is a crazy birdy dog and has no qualms about being dirty. I let Ruby sleep with me the past couple nights after a dirty belly check. She's a great dog to spoon with.
Mini Me and I have become Top 40 music addicts. Since we spend quite a bit of time in my truck driving to softball practices, I have a music CD of songs I downloaded so we can sing and be silly "girls". Ahem....Lady Gaga, Black Eyed Peas, Beyonce to name a few. Yes, I am admitting this to you. But music is my release and sometimes you just need to belt out that "Telephone" song...I'm just saying..or singing.
I have been loving mascara alot. And black eye liner. I used to never deal with mascara and usually wore brown eyeliner. I needed a change. Now I love it. And Mary Kay cosmetics. Thanks to my Sex and the City buddy, I now have a collection of those products. One I love right now? Under eye concealer. Oh and an eye cream to help tame those crows feet. Okay so two products I love.
I just recently bought a pair of full seat riding breeches. After years of riding in jeans and having a sore butt and legs from an unforgiving inseam I splurged on some of these breeches. So comfy. So what if I ride western mostly. At least I look comfortable. At least I have more grip when my horse decides to do the crow hop dance with me on him. Enough said about that.
Yooper is officially off of the steroid he has put into his body for the past eight months. However, his body is still craving this drug and he is suffering from some mean side effects. This past week has been rough on him. It is tempting to go back on them so he would feel better but he fights through it. He has so much more strength than I could ever handle.
I've recently become buddies with our cattle herd's bull. All 1500 plus pounds of him. I am his "grass goddess" because whenever I make my rounds through our little itty bitty herd of cows to check calves I hand him some grass. You can gasp and tell me to be careful. I am because I have to watch those quiet ones. But we keep it short but sweet and he is the quietest bull we have had. I've been taking a bucket of grain out to "the girls" as well. Suddenly it occurred to me I will never have to chase them with a four wheeler after an escape attempt. A bucket of grain and they are putty in my hands and follow me around in a complete trance.
I recently had pizza with yellow peppers on it. I absolutely loved this combination and it was delicious. My old age is expanding my taste buds I suppose. Outside of my mushroom and pepperoni circle.
I've crossed over from drinking Diet Pepsi to loving Diet Dr. Pepper. I was growing tired of Diet Pepsi's sweetness and taste. I needed a change in my pop drinking. Exciting stuff hey?

So that is some of my life randoms as of late. One of my favorite blog buddies Ashley and also such a talented photographer I completely envy, gave me ideas for doing some of these "randoms". She does a Wednesday randoms every week. I've learned so much about her and so wish we could meet up! Hint, hint Ashley!

So how are you spending your weekend? Do you have snow forecasted? Please tell me you do and I will feel so much better. What are your plans for Mother's Day? Doesn't Mother's Day seem so early this year? It does to me.

Happy weekend! Always feel blessed.